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DD (13 1/2) doesn't want us to hug her any more :'(

I don't know if she thinks this is cute or if she is genuinely repulsed by it. I thought we all had a good relationship. She lives with me (her mother of course), my husband (her step father of 10 years), and her brother who is 8. It came out of the blue. DH looked for the memory card and batteries for her camera. When he found it he put everything in the camera, put his arm around her shoulder and tried to take a test picture. She jerked away and screeched "EWWWW! Don't touch me!!!". She was serious. This reduced my husband to tears. I've seen him cry about five times in our 10 yr. marriage. Today after she had been at her Dad's for two days I put my arm around her, kissed her on the cheek, and said "I really missed you." She shivered and pulled away. We were in my car in private.

This really hurts our feelings. I think it's disrespectful for her to behave this way. Thoughts?

Answer Question
 
wahmoftwo

Asked by wahmoftwo at 9:45 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 7 (168 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • talk to you ask her why shes doing this maybe something happen to her or shes just a teen we all know how it feels to be a teen
    twimommy

    Answer by twimommy at 9:47 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • i would discuss it with her. let her know it hurts both of you. and ask her why all of a sudden you cant hug her. it could just be a phase, but something could be bothering her.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I have. She just says she doesn't want us to touch her. I haven't noticed her behaving this way towards anyone else.
    wahmoftwo

    Comment by wahmoftwo (original poster) at 9:49 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I went through that phaze and it was just that I never really wanted people to hug me it took a couple of years but I grew out of it. Maybe she feels awkward like I did and just needs a little space to grow into herself. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:59 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Well I use tobe that way when I was a teenager I don't know why we do it but we do sometimes all I can say is its just a faze she will grow out of it....I hug my parents all the time when I see them now.
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 10:06 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • well i must say around 12yrs old i started getting the e-b jeebies when someone would try to hug me..to this day it totally freaks me out and i dont like it..i dont hug my sd thats 13 i couldnt count on one hand how many times i have ever hugged her and ive had her since she was 5..she now thinks its totally freakish too...i dunno jmo
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 11:54 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Its a phase.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 8:27 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I would just not make a big deal of it. Show her you love her in non-physically demonstrative ways and it will probably pass.
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 8:36 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I agree it is a phase. At 13 1/2 she is just now trying to figure things out. My dd was affectionate all they way through her teens, but my ds only allows me to kiss him on the top of his head (everything else is COMPLETELY inappropriate according to him). Under NO circumstances can we hug! I handled it my making sure we had eye contact when I said "I Love You".
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 9:27 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • 13½ is about the right age for that. They are working on boundaries and this is one of them.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:34 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

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