Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I had the question Fri about ex dying of pancreatic cancer

This was his weekend for supervised visitation and all late last night until about 4:30am he was updating his status about the wild party at his house and all day today too. Now besides him only having every other weekend, and not a lot longer it says in our divorce order that their is to be no drinking and drugs around dd. Now I get he doesn't have much time left but couldn't he have done this next weekend when she wasn't there? He has never been to one of her birthdays, never spent Christmas with her, and even skipped her kindergarten graduation in June. I had hoped dd was not there for all this partying but she came home telling me about all the stupid things he and his friends were doing. Is this what I have to look forward to as long as he is making it?

Answer Question

Asked by treynlisa at 10:09 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,618 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would not let her go, court order or not!

    Answer by QandA at 10:11 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • i'd be getting a lawyer involved. if he doesnt care enough to keep things like that away from his dd they need to know.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:12 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • If you violate a court order, the court can take your child and put her into foster care. This actually happened to my brothers and sisters. Go back to court and ask the visits be supervised since he's exposing her to all of this kind of thing.

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:13 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • About my only choice as far as her not going would be to call the call the police after she is there and they are having a party. I am a SAHM to my other 2 kids while dd is in school and can not afford a stay in jail for violating court order.

    Comment by treynlisa (original poster) at 10:16 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • These visits are "supervised" now by his mom. I say it that way because she has told me that he deserves to be in her life no matter what.

    Comment by treynlisa (original poster) at 10:19 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I would call him on it - tell him you know that he had a party at his house, and in the future, ask if he wants to switch weekends or something in the future.
    I understand your point about him not having much time left, etc, and if he needs to get that out of his system, OK, but DD can't stay there if there is a party going on. I'm sure if he's partying he'd rather not be supervising children at the same time.
    The only other thing you can do is drag him back to court and get social services/cops involved - which may be pointless if he passes before then. I'm sure he's going through an extremely hard time with the diagnosis and hopefully he'll come to terms with everything before it's too late.

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 10:25 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Then you need to go back and get her replaced as supervision. You can't violate the court order.

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:26 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I don't care if he is dying or not. He shouldn't have had that type of party with your DD present. That wouldn't be the lasting impression I would want to make in front of my child. He must not be feeling to bad if he had a party.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:42 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.