Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

youngest child

My youngest child is now a teenager and her siblings are grown her sister is 8 years older than her and she is so jelous of her. She feels I love her sister more. I am closer to her sister because the youngest has always been a daddys girl and now at times everything I say to her is wrong. any ideas how to stop the jelousy I love and am very proud of my youngest dd accomplishments. Help

Answer Question

Asked by nanny29 at 11:13 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 13 (1,277 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think the teen years are the most challenging. I have 3 boys, the youngest is 18. The oldest is 9 yrs older. There've been times when my oldest has felt like I spoil the youngest more. I suppose in some ways he has gotten more. Partially, because we've been able to afford more, & partially because my youngest has gotten good grades, etc. & earned privileges that go with that. I have talked to my oldest, & let him know how much I love him, & that I am proud of him, that I see how much he's accomplished, that I'm also very proud of him, that our relationship is important to me. I think as he's gotten older he sees that, but when they're in their teens, I think it's often very hard for them to see anything but the negative. One thing I've tried to do, is make some special time for each of the boys alone with me..where we don't talk about things they might be doing wrong...unless they want to. Even now, they make time for me!

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:26 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Spend time with youngest dd. Talk to her often about other stuff like yourself and what you like and vice versa. My mom has always been like that toward my sis and I was just 'there' in the way. Or that is the way I felt. My sis is 7 yrs older than me. If my mom had done that, it would have helped.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 12:12 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I can honestly say that I've been through this. My sister is ten yrs older than me and when I was a child I always felt that my parents paid more attention to her than me. You need to reinforce how you truly feel about her. Tell you that you love her and you are very proud of her accomplishments. Have you thought of spending some alone time with her? Ask her what she likes to do, or maybe give her a party and let her invite some of her friends over, even a sleepover?

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:35 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I do have a lot of one on one time wth her as she is the only one at home now. we do alot of things together. She gets more time with me than the older daughter. The other kids say I spoil her to much but I am able to do more for her as we only have the one at home instead of 6. She is an honor student and wll graduate in the top 5 of her class I always tell her how proud I am of her hard work and her inspiration to attend one of the top schools in our state. I am hoping it is just a teenage phase she is going through and not that sheis truely angry wth me.There are days she is just fine and then days I can not say anything right to her.

    Comment by nanny29 (original poster) at 7:38 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Just make sure you show her as much love as you do the others. Teen years are the hardest I think.

    Answer by sstepph at 8:25 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • The teen years are definitely a challenge. I have my kids telling me I play favorites all the time. I don't, but the way they see it, if they are not the center of my universe every single moment they are around, then I am not paying attention to them. it is just the nature of the beast. The best you can do is engage your daughter in activities that she enjoys, keep the lines of communication open and love her unconditionally. Hopefully, when she is grown she will understand that you loved her thoroughly.

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 8:31 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • well, my older sis is 8 years older than me and daddies girl... my bro is 6 years older and mamas boy... i'm the "mistake"... and often felt forgotten...
    my parents did a good job expressing that they were proud of me, showng interest in what i was doing, etc... it didn't help THEN, i still felt left out... BUT looking back now my feelings were for nothing... they loved us all the same, but differently... i was their baby... and always will be, even though i'm 30!

    Answer by asil at 1:18 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Make time to do things that she likes just the two of you. Show her with your actions how much you value and love her. Sometimes words just make things more confusing, actions make things more believable.

    Answer by KTMOM at 3:03 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Hmmm, kids talk and kids confuse spending time with another kid as being favorites. I have three kids and they do the same thing. I am not sure your going to change their attitude or their thoughts. However you can keep talking to them. Good luck.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 3:44 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • the answer that I have is keep talking to her and telling her how much you love her
    I am a mom of 2 sons and the are 15 1/2 years apart and my youngest felt like that when he was younger now that he is a teenager the 2 of them spends a lot time together and call each other almost daily

    Answer by missgwen at 6:14 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.