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How can I tell my Pastor that a person is touching his son in an inappropate manner?

A man came to our church six weeks ago. Living in his car, he asked if he could put up a tent and stay until a check was coming. He has since gotten the check & bought a travel trailer to move into. He has started going to our church. He stands next to our Pastor's son whose 13yr old & very friendly. The man will rub his back; touch his face and put his fingers through his hair. I could be off base, but I don't think so. I want to tell the Pastor, but am afraid it will be misunderstood. Hard to talk to him... I'm worried about this boy and what this man is doing... Any ideas?

Answer Question

Asked by Prayerpartner at 3:31 AM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,072 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Just start with I feel it is my "Christian" (if that is what you are) and proceede to tell the pastor exactly what you told us. Tell him you dont know if it is inappropriate but it makes you feel uncomfortable enough to say something. You just feel like he should keep an eye on it. Also, state that you will keep this to yourself and you wanted to come to him 1st.
    I feel you should say something before something more happens. You never know and if you wait you may regret it. Good luck! Blessings to you

    Answer by Seterah1010 at 3:35 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Just like Seterah1010 said. Just be respectful and address it privately and let him knkow how you feel. You are not accusing this man of anything you are simply observing behavior that causes you to question and makes you feel uncomfortable for the boy.

    Answer by GoldenLinds at 3:45 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Thank you. Yes, I love the Lord. I just am treading lightly in this body of believers. They are young (both in early 20's) I have to choose my words wisely. But as you stated, I don't want to regret it later if something were to happen... Also, wonder how to approach the man about the way he prays for others. I mean, when he prayed for a man, he kept rubbing the front part of his chest. When he prayed for a woman, he rocked his bottom half of his body front to back facing her side. She seemed to be trying to move away from him. She is too shy or quiet to say anything. He did a few other things that were gross. I mean, I'm not a prune, but when you look like you're trying to get it on with the pew that sticks out, and your rocking but no music playing....well, its just doesn't seem right? Am I looking at this wrong?

    Comment by Prayerpartner (original poster) at 3:51 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • That is a very difficult choice to make. But I just went through this same dillemma over the weekend. I was told that a close friend of mine since high school's daughter has been molested by her mom boyfriend, who just happens to be my husband's uncle. When someone told me I immediately calle her mom and told her mom. She ask her daughter which said yes it was true. The girl, who just turned 13, has now been able to get this burden off her chest. And hopefully can now start the healing process. So my answer just go to your preacher and tell him what you see and believe. Hopefully the truth will coe out. Hopefully the poor boy is not being bothered, but if he is maybe he can start his healing pocess to. Good luck... Just go with your gut.

    Answer by mistym31 at 4:11 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • sometimes are feelings are telling us something and we need to lision to them just because they are in a church dont always make them a good person sometimes just make us easy praye tell him you dont know why but you are feelinh uneasy about these thing and maybe he needs watched better safe than sorry

    Answer by motherstime at 4:16 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • You should talk to your pastor in private, and just let him know that you are seeing some actions that are uncomfortable to you. Good luck to you.


    Answer by Ks_mom94 at 4:24 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • you're completely right! you need to go to your pastor and address your concerns even if it is nothing. better safe than sorry!

    Answer by MummoloMom2010 at 5:32 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • why a pastor? Call the police.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 5:56 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I am a Christian and go to church on a regular basis. I would do as Seterah1010 said. Better safe than sorry.

    Answer by thismamacooks at 7:01 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • talk to him like you would any other parent. he is human and he deserves to know, and his child deserves to be protected.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:04 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

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