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My friend's granddaughter started a new school. She says no one likes her.

What can she do to help her Granddaughter adjust to the new school? Is there anything the granddaughter can do to fit in easier? The girl is 14yrs old. She's begging her grandmother to drive thirty miles to take her to her old school. Any ideas?

Answer Question
 
Prayerpartner

Asked by Prayerpartner at 3:39 AM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 20 (10,072 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • time is the only suggestion i have. do you know why she is having difficulty fitting in?
    katiemum

    Answer by katiemum at 3:51 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • all's she will tell us is that no one likes her. I'm sure she has some confidence issues. She's been bounced around from family members after her parents divorce. Now her grandmother is raising her. Hence forth the 30 miles away from all her friends!
    Prayerpartner

    Comment by Prayerpartner (original poster) at 4:07 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • At 14, she honestly most likely went in on the 1st day with a negative, stand off ish attitude. She needs to smile, and relax and just be active in class and the friends will come in time.
    If by chance she is a non hormonal 14 year old who is just a wall flower she should look into sports or a club at the school to make friends.

    Her grandma can try to ease the distance by letting her have 15 minutes a day to call a different friend and talk, and my cousin who lives 2 states away, to this day we use good 'ole letter writing because its nice to get a envelope with a smiley face sticker. Have her encourage the 14 year old to communicate with her other friends in ways other than facebook, myspace and texting.
    DonnaPinitonya

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 4:36 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Tell her to just be herself and keep her head up and the other kids will kling to her. There is always someone else who feels the same way she does and that person will want to be her friend.
    Red162

    Answer by Red162 at 5:49 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • It takes time to "fit it", it takes time to make friends. It also takes effort. She'll figure it out. It's part of learning, it's part of growing up. All our lives we need to transition from one situation to another; one job to another, one relationship to another, one set of expectations to another. It's not easy, but it's a good lesson.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 8:20 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Ask her why she thinks no one likes her and just talk to her about it.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 8:24 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Are there any after school clubs or sports teams she could join to meet kids on a social level? That age is hard. I wish your friend's granddaughter good luck.
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 8:28 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • New School at 14 - that is so hard especially in high school.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:56 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Suggest she get involved at school (club, organization, charity event, etc.) to meet new people. At 14, I would suggest a lot of positive reinforcement for her self-image. Reminding her to stick to her values, be herself and be open to meeting new people may not be a bad idea either. Steering her towards something positive (choir, homecoming committee, science fair) to keep for dropping in on a crowd that may not be in her best interest, but easier to be accepted in. Good Luck.
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 9:15 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • if i walk into a room with all new people, who all know each other, i'm going to think no one likes me either... i stared a new job over a month ago... that "feeling" is just now starting to wear off... give her some time.
    asil

    Answer by asil at 1:16 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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