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3 Bumps

Anyone scared of what they are going to do with themselves once the kids leave the nest?

I feel like my kids have become my life purpose. As they get older I'm not needed as much (which is good), but still makes me feel as if my purpose diminished a little each day.

Once they are gone on their own... going back to work full time after being out of the workforce for so long and at an advanced age? Hooboy....sitting at home with no one to care for? omg no!

 
Zoeyis

Asked by Zoeyis at 6:20 AM on Sep. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • lol i see where ur going with this lol i have a 2yr old and my husband and i were talking about how we have to enjoy every day with our kids because before we know it they are out of the house and we will be recieving 1 phone call aweek lol. i told him i wanted to travel go see the world alil before we are needed again as grandparents. so before you think you will be alone dont forget your nxt job after kids are out of house is being a grandparent
    Snavarro08

    Answer by Snavarro08 at 7:47 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My sons are 20 & 21 and the last one left the nest last Dec. It's definitely an adjustment at first. I had started back working part-time several years prior to the last one leaving, so it wasn't such a shock. What I love about it is, I don't have to be TOTALLY covered up ALL the time! (as in dress) We are more free to be spontaneous w/each other no matter where we are in the house. It is great when they stop by, and I do miss them, but it is a normal thing for children to grow up and move out. I hear of SO many parents who can't get their grown children out of their house! And like the previous responder said, it is great to travel more and not worry about the kids or the house, while you're away. It had been 21 hrs. since we were alone, so once again, "it's OUR time"!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 7:58 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My sense of self is not grounded only in my son. I have my own interests and activities outside of being a Mother. I am sure I will be sad when its time to boot him from the nest. But I have no doubts about having my own life and being successful in having a purpose .
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 8:32 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I had to go through the emptynest thing 3 times.. Yes it can happen. I have 3 kids, but 1, my youngest is the one that lived with me. SHe left our house to move to an apartment to go to Post Secondary school in another town 25 min from here. So i had to adapt to that. Then she moved back to town a year later and into her own rental place, SO my son decided to move down with me and my DH to get a better job. After several months, he decided to join the USAF, a week after my daughter went up to MPS for her final Physical. So in April, of 2009, I am sending my son and my daughter off for the adventure of their life,.. So back to the empynest again.. Then we had an exchange student living with us for a year.. Yes it was again.. Now .. no more.. ( My son was living with his dad before coming down to me.)
    Airforce3mom

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 8:21 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I'm looking forward to every stage - our oldest is 15, the youngest is 2.5. When the baby leaves the nest, my DH and I plan to travel more, and hoping that he can retire so we can live in the Caribbean. I don't define myself as "mother" only, I'm also a wife, a musician, a diver, friend - I'm not worried.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:45 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • honestly, I have my 5th on the way, and plan to have more, therefore, We will always have our children in our lives, no matter how old, but when they do all become adults, we plan to trave
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 8:50 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • yes but i have quite a few years to go
    sherryb1273

    Answer by sherryb1273 at 11:35 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • true, but that isn't the same "needed" as a parent is :) My parents only see my kids a few times a yr. My DH's parents never see my kids, but will use that as an excuse to cause guilt, even tho they really have no interest in our sons (but I digress lol)
    Zoeyis

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 7:50 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • true and when the kids grow to adult size it isn't that same "feeling" you get when you caring for an actual child you really needs you
    Zoeyis

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 8:01 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I'm not sure you ever adjust. Mine are 21 and 23 and I keenly miss them but they are busy with their own lives. I work full time and attend college at night. Maybe someday I will have grandkids to enjoy.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 12:35 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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