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at what age is it to approach the race issue with my kids

my son is 6, he is bi-racial, looking more white than his bi racial father. should i be trying to buy him black action figures, or teach him about black history. he understands that i am white and my hubby is black. i am constantly harrassed by people telling me that my son is "too white" to be my hubbys biologically. this has created a whole sort of stress for me and my hubby, even causing some friends to part ways, because they think I cheated. for the record both of my children are this way and look similar and my hubby is their father, being the only man i've slept with is the only possible father.

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Asked by jessiecrafty1 at 2:01 PM on Oct. 16, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (20)
  •  i am constantly harrassed by people telling me that my son is "too white" to be my hubbys biologically.<,-- I'm sorry you are meeting up with ignorant , insensitive people who would say something like that. Ignore them or tell them to take a class in biology and genetics. 


    Answer by FishingMama at 2:31 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Who needs "friends" like the ones who left, anyway? Thier loss......
    Nothing wrong with buying black action figures. My son is hispanic and he has both black and white figures he plays with. They are just people to him. We homeschool, and I teach my kids about all historical figures, no matter the color of their skin. We do in depth studies on Martin Luther King, Poncho Villa, and Columbus.

    Sorry to hear people give you a hard time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • We are white and I teach my kids black history and they had a black baby doll, Spanish, Chinese. We teach people are people some are black, some are white and so on. They don't know racism exists yet, but I am confident when they hear a racist remark when they are older they will be dumbfounded, come home and ask me what that was all about and I will tell them that some people judge others based on their outward appearance and we do not do that in our family.


    Answer by FishingMama at 2:33 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I've done this already with fat people, handicapped people and so on . ( I am not being politically correct here, but that's just out of laziness and not disrespect, but I trust ya'll know where I'm coming from) So what I'm saying no matter what race one is I think it's a good idea to teach we all bleed red, and buy what ever toys you like, black , white, Asia action figures, and the bonus for the kiddos is they get more toys!!!! YEAY!!!Good luck with everything


    Answer by FishingMama at 2:33 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • p.s. I really hate this 1000 character limit lol


    Answer by FishingMama at 2:34 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • my daughter is multiracial (white, black, hispanic). i chose to let her decide what dolls she wants and to not instill issues of race in any way. i have dealt with the how come you're white and she's black bs. i simply say i think i'm rather peach and she is caramel. i've been called a nigger lover, to which i proudly respond i love all people. unfortunately race issues are a reality. imo the best we can do is teach that people look different in many ways, acknowledge that there is ignorance and that it is unrefutably wrong. spend your time worrying about his character, which will speak for itself in ways that race cannot. forget about people who want to make this an issue for your family... that's not what matters.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:50 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Our boys are bi-racial too and I can understand the stupid comments. There is a thin line between teaching them heritage and history and making race a bigger issue than it should be. My boys know where Daddy comes from (Korea) and they know my heritage. We teach them about different aspects but make sure it's done simply and without emphasis on race. Buy your son black action figures but white ones also...teach him both heritages and histories as well as all others. Do your best to teach for the sake of learning diversity and not because you want him to focus on race. Since the holidays are coming up now is a great time to teach about different heritages and stuff. Let him see the race difference himself and ask questions....


    Answer by lifeofchaois at 2:52 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • My oldest is 5 and while he knows Daddy doesn't look like Mommy, he doesn't care cause it's normal to him. We just let these "differences" live out in daily life, we don't make it a huge issue where we necessarily sit down and teach all about it. It just comes up naturally from time to time.

    One thing I do, however, is make sure they know that they are extra special because they are both Korean and Caucasian...Mommy is only one race. Boo-hoo Mommy. =)

    I think sometimes we, as adults, focus too much on race rather than just letting all our differences be normal and not a big deal. The more we talk about race the more kids realize perhaps it's a big deal (when it's not). Does that make sense?

    Answer by lifeofchaois at 2:56 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • my oldest daughter is half hispanic. her bio dad isnt around, but you can tell she isnt 100%caucasian because of her dark auburn hair and brown skin. so she still knows there is a difference, and she knows where she came from. i think its important to just teach her how to be a good person to all people no matter what race they are, and to not "teach" her to be a certain race.

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 4:13 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • My sons are half white/half bangladeshi....from the get go we have had everything around, white dolls, asian dolls or indian dolls (as in india not native) since they look closer to my DH than say a chinese looking doll. We celebrate Holidays in our religion and people of all colors join, my kids will wear traditional clothes on those holidays, I read them stories about BOTH sides, NEITHER ONE OF MY KIDS ARE AS DARK AS MY HUSBAND. shoot my youngest has blue eyes. I think now would be a good time to start reading books to him, ask him questions about race(kids are really smart and you might be surprised). I make it a point to have people of all shapes, colors and sizes in our my children will know that being "different" is normal!

    Answer by AmmuJinanSamaan at 5:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

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