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I need advice with my 3 year old daughter that as an attitude worse than a teen!!!

my 3 year old has a really bad attitude.. she doesnt listen to what we tell her to do, she bullies her 1 year old sister, she screams and yells at us, when we ask her to pick up her toys she flat out say no you do, i dont have to, no im to busy, etc.. we try to spend one on one with her, we cant take her anywhere because she always throws a fit.. some say its just a phase she is going through being 3 and all, some say it could be that she is jelous because she has 2 baby sisters, but you would think that even when she has one on one she would behave better, but she doesnt and i swear it gets worse and worse everyday!!! can some one please help me???

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Asked by mommyofthree33 at 9:36 AM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think she is testing her limits with you. Much like a teenager would. Its gonna be up to be consistant in dealing wiht this behaviour. You cannot keep letting her think SHE is the boss. it might be time consuming but time outs, and keep putting her back in the time out spot if she leaves it and start the timer over again each time. make sure the timer is wher she can see it. kinda makes it REAL yes it wil be a pain. but you have to show her that you are the boss and you are not budgingb

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 9:56 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Agree with PP and maybe make time out around the corner from where you and the other kids are so that she sees time out is really OUT of doing anything. No toys or playing or any kind in time out.

    Answer by mrspierce06 at 10:44 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I agree with the others. Super Nanny also has some great tips!

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 11:42 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • well, it is just being 3... because my well mannered 2 year old it 3 in june and turned into a monster over night...
    we set the limits and that's that... we have real "punishment" too... she is not TOLD to pick up... it's "okay, lets clean up, or what we leave on the floor we will take to the trash tomorrow"... that usually works...
    i try to pick my battles... if she is going to behave but has to wear two different shoes, jeans and a skirt, and her swimming suit when we go grocery shopping to behave... then fine.
    and we "try" to let her feel like she is in charge at some points during the day... she is allowed to choose lunch... she is allowed to make a mess in the play room... she gets to choose what is on tv (a dvd usually) before nap time... it gives her the little "im in charge" feeling that she seems to need...

    Answer by asil at 12:22 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • The PP all have had great things to say. Many of the parents in my family have had great success with the book 123 Magic. It is inexpensive in paperback, and has wonderful advice. Good luck.
    One more thing. If at all possible, find a little time, even just once a week, to have some child~free Mommy Time. If all the kids nap at the same time, then sit and have a cup of tea or coffee and read a bit or watch a show you like. Just a little chill time. If you can't do it during nap time, then talk to your DH or a friend about taking the kids away for an hour (to the library, or bookstore story time) once a week. Whatever you can make work to get that time. Once a day is better, but not always possible. It will just help you calm down and be a little more able to deal with the craziness of being a mommy.

    Answer by JessieAtHome at 12:57 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I know a few 3 year olds like this. I would just be consistent with punishments and rewards. Show her you are more stubborn than she is and make it clear that you will not accept rude and snotty behaviors. Stick to your guns and be consistent every single day and eventually it will get better.

    Answer by KTMOM at 1:39 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Time outs.

    Answer by sstepph at 3:09 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My dd is 3 and has many days like this! For me, I've found that when her behavior starts to be like this I have a habit of getting short with her and that makes things so much worse. I've had to learn to calm down before I start trying to discipline her. (much easier said than done!) She does great with having a chance to make choices about her day such as what to have for breakfast or lunch. (she only gets 2 choices)

    Answer by mom2abby06 at 3:18 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My 3.5 yr old son has been a holy terror lately too. I've seen some horrible behavior too- screaming 'no' to us, flat out refuses to do what we ask, just being downright ugly. I noticed he does a little better when I give him a choice of two options when I want him to do something or make it seem like something is his choice or idea. It is surely a stage because he will be fine one day and a monster the next. We tried time outs and it didn't work. We have to tell him we are going to take away some activity or toy he really likes in order to get his attention. Good luck and I hope your daughter gets a better attitude along with my son.

    Answer by miraclebabymine at 3:54 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • It is just the age... When my daughter 2, when was the sweetest child ever. When she turned 3, she was a terror... Now, at 4, she still has her moments but if she sees that something upsets me, she changes it real quick.

    Answer by BriHan06 at 3:59 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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