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17 Bumps

I feel like i've failed...

my kid are out of control. I've got 4 under 4. Seriously i'm so overwhelmed with even teaching them stuff, diciplining them when more than one is acting out and ugh just everything!
I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exauhsted. My husband isn't that great of a support and my family lives states away.
I just want to know how you all do it? Do you let the house go to the dogs during the day and just focus solely on your kids, and do all of the housework at night when they're asleep?
I feel like i'm running a freaking daycare.....and that's not how I want to feel about my life and their childhood. HELP! I just need order to this madness....
Not to mention DD (3) is acting out badly and get so angry...and hits.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (27)
  • GL I have no advice to help you out of this situation but hopefully someone else can help you.

    Answer by mrspierce06 at 10:35 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Wow your hands are full. When I had my 3rd I had 3 under four. It was alot! I kn ew right then oh yes 3 is enough for me. Their dad is not the best support either and works alot. SInce you stay home a schedule would be ideal. Not sure if some do preschool or other activites but maybe have a park or outside time. Do some simple activiteis to keep them doh, bubbles, coloring, painting. Try to limit tv so when they watch it they enjoy it that much more. It is hard with this many to keep on top of the house and kids so maybe clean at times when they are calmer and when they napo and are in bed. You are not a bad mom just overwhelmed. I have felt that. Now my kids are older 2, 5 and 7. Good luck....

    Answer by hill2 at 10:36 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I spaced my children. It takes three years for your body to recover from childbirth, that's how long the World Health Org recommends waiting before ttc. Having children close together not only affects the mother but it also affected the womb environment for the children. It's too late now that you have had your kids but it is an explaination for part of the reason it is so hard.

    Run your home like a day care. Many women take care of more than 4 kids. When I was young I had a day care license for 10 (the old days) and often took care of that many. You don't need to worry about "teaching them stuff" when they are under 4. The kinds of things they need to know should come naturally.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:37 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Relax! be yourself. Yes honestly let the house go. Do housework on your own time. You "definitely" need me time. You also need your husbands support.
    What are the ages of your children? Are they old enough they can play in a group by their selves? Do you have a schedule for them? They probably don't take naps at the same time.
    You have a "GOLD" heart for having 4 children all under the age of 4.

    Answer by bmwlover at 10:39 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I had 4 little ones in a row now ages 17,14,13 and 10. My ex was in the military at the time and I was also states away from family. My ex was a cheater and abusive so add terrible marriage to the mix. A site called flylady really helped me. Also having a schedule throughout the whole day helped. It cuts down on chaos and the kids know what to expect.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:41 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • If you feel like you have failed, then you probably have. Pick yourself up and do something about it. Learn about how to discipline. Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is a great little problem solving book. She has a web site called star parenting. Here is a parenting chart you can print out for your fridge.

    Learn about child development. I'm sure there are web sites about how to run home day care and you could get tips there. Family Fun Magazine has a good web site. Don Aslett's cleaning and household organization books are good.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:44 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • 4 under Your nuts! (that is meant in the nicest way possible...not being ignorant!) :-)

    Good Luck!

    Answer by tiger_tatted1 at 10:45 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Maybe arrange to have a Mommy's Day Out once a week or something. I think there are church's that have those?

    And bumping so I can print that chart out when I get home.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 10:53 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Ok, honey - here's what you do:

    1) Know that you have not failed. Your kids are all under 4 - it's their job to test their boundaries. If they didn't, they wouldn't know where the boundaries are.

    2) Set clear boundaries - over and over and over again. The same consequence for the same offense - every single time. It's not magic and doesn't work overnight, but eventually they get the picture.

    3) Only pick battles that matter. I only ever discipline my son for the following: Purposeful disobedience, willful disrespect, hurting others (including me!) or himself. For everything else, the consequences that life brings are more than enough.

    4) Explain (patiently) why they got in trouble every time.

    5) Wear them out! I used to take my son outside and have him run back and forth down the sidewalk. He loved it and came in exhausted! Make it fun, and they will come in ready for a blessed nap!

    Answer by cyndigardn at 10:58 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • i have two under 4, but I feel that way sometimes as well. It's hard not to feel like your house should be sparkling clean and your children should be perfectly groomed while writing college entrance essays. Now, back to the real world - try making a schedule, but if you can't stick to it exactly don't beat yourself up. Try having the kids help you clean up - make it a game. And tell your dh that you need his help, he should be helping.

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 11:40 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

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