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How would you handle this? And is there any action to be taken??

What would you do if you were with someone for a few yrs and one day you found out they didn't have the same dreams as you , what would you do? Especially if it was a dream of becoming married again one day,would you be hurt,confused or just down right angry? Or would you continue to stay with the person and accept it knowing you'll always just be the girlfriend and nothing more??Please tell me you thoughts. Thanks............

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Oct. 16, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • honestly I would just talk it out. ask why he doesn't agree with marriage. and you never know, he may change his mind one day. That has happened to a lot of men I know that say they never want to get married.

    flutterfae

    Answer by flutterfae at 2:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Honestly, I wouldn't have entered into a relationship without first knowing that we had the same intentions. However, in your position and reaching that point, if it was marriage I was hoping for I'd realize that it wasn't in the cards with that man and I'd look for someone who was on the same page as myself.
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 2:54 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • i could never be happy just being a girlfriend after all the yrs and times we shared. if he is not willing to marry you then it's obvious that he doesn't feel your worth marrying. no man would refuse to marry a women if he felt he'd found the one. a lot of men use that i won't marry to girls they don't want or can see themselves married to. read this book " he's just not that into you" written by a man and a girl. he tells it like it is. he felt he'd never married but when met his one and only, all that went out the window. don't waste your time without marriage he could just one day leave and you'd be left alone with wasted yrs. i agree with dedicatedrider.my hubby talked of marriage before i did. we had the same desires and we talked of what we expected out of marriage and relationship. leave him and find someone else that wants the same as you do. you'll regret staying.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:09 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • my husband and i were together 7 years before we got married. he wasn't ready. at first i was ok with not beeing married since i had already gone thru a divorce but after a while i wanted to have a husband not just a BF... i told honey either marry me or i move on... no hurt feelings or you better or else.. it was a chat of ok this is what my needs are and if you can't meet them then I need to move on so I can be happy! sit down and see what he says first... then go away for a weekend and let your head clear ... the answer will come to you
    NoshnBasket

    Answer by NoshnBasket at 4:09 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • You deserve to be loved completely with someone who cares endlessly moving towards the same place you want to get to. Compromise is possible to incorporate however if you don't have the same core base, it'll fall apart - when would be up to you.
    notjustamom380

    Answer by notjustamom380 at 5:48 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • If it's not what you want, then you have two choices, you can stay with him knowing that you will never get what you want, or you can leave and find someone with the same dreams and needs as you have. Personally, I wouldn't want to stay with someone whom didn't think the same way I did.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 6:45 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Stay true to yourself and ask if you can be truly happy with things just as they are. You don't seem like you are though.
    Staying in a relationship where you don't have the same goals can only end in ruin.
    I hope you find the answer you are looking for.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 7:01 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

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