Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is the punishment for your kids the same?

I have a 4 and 2 year old. I dont punish them the same, i know i dont. I expect my older one to know better and more than my i find myself getting on to my older one for fighting with the younger one alot more.. I put him in time out for 4 min and she gets time out too for 2 min..but sometimes i just punish one of them. Is this normal, i mean do i punish them the same?? I mean my oldest one knows better, and my 2 year old should know better too but sometimes idk how to punish be fair...any advice?!?


Asked by Brittney20 at 12:58 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (751 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I agree they should both be punished the same, but no I don't. My oldest knows better, I raised her better. LOL I spent more time with her and she knows how she is supposed to behave. Youngest, well, she is the youngest, still needs time to learn right? Not really, she is 5 but I am so busy still "training" oldest that I let the little one slide b/c I don't want her to cry. Its not right, and I am trying to work on it.

    Answer by Carol936 at 1:08 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • If they are both committing the same crime so to speak then the punishment should be the same whether it is time out or having toys taken away. Timeouts should be set differently depending on the age. So I think that you are doing okay but never expect one to know better. Punish both if they are both fighting. It doesn't matter who started it.

    Answer by coala at 1:01 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • yeah they both walk the plank together

    Answer by Zoeyis at 1:02 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • oh yes i disapline the same with both and mine are about the same age. but yes i have found myself disaplineing different on occations and that being because i too expect my oldest to know better. but as for time out time they both get in time out however long it takes for them to calm down.

    Answer by laura970 at 1:10 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Every child is different. Each one learns in a different way. The time to make sure they are punished similarly is when they do it together. Even then you need to take certain things into account: Who is the ring leader? Do all involved understand the repercussion of what they have done? You can't punish a child who didn't know what they were doing was wrong in the same manner you punish one who did know.

    Just take a breath and think before you punish. That way you'll be less likely to regret your decisions later.

    Answer by blueraven60 at 1:27 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I punish in similar they will get time out(for example)but for different lengths of time and my oldest might have to stand with his hands behind his back but my younger ones wont.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 1:31 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • the discipline is the same at each age! My year old is different form my 4,3, and1 year old, butwen he as their ages it was the same! Disipline has to change with age!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 1:31 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Don't underestimate what your two year old knows. If you're going to instill the rules of the house, respect, and bounderies into your two year old you need to treat them the same as your four year old. If they're both fighting, then they both should be punished. It doesn't matter who started the fight, it takes one person to walk away from it. If they continue to fight they're both in the wrong. Your two year old might not be able to communicate as clearly, but I garuntee you they understand what's going on. Especially when they're being punished.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:02 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Thanks everyone :)

    Comment by Brittney20 (original poster) at 2:12 PM on Sep. 13, 2010