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3 Bumps

Why are men excused from being attentive?

This doesn't apply to all men-I'm curious why "he's a man" should be an acceptable reason for DH being ridiculous. Men aren't stupid. I some times think that they prefer to appear that way so women won't expect much. They expect us to tend to every need for the kids, even when we're busy & they aren't doing a dang thing. They forget anniversaries, birthdays, holidays because "he doesn't know any better?" Why? We remember all this! If a man has been married for 10 years, chances are, he KNOWS how his wife feels about birthdays/anniversary, etc. If he doesn't put forth any effort it's because he's a jerk! Not knowing or forgetting the first year of marriage, maybe. I don't think being a man is a valid reason for forgetting important dates or giving crappy gifts even when the wife has a specific list of what she wants. I don't care if they "think differently" than we do. There is no excuse for being inconsiderate.


Asked by Mrs.B3 at 1:33 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 16 (3,196 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I don't know, but let me tell you when its guys night and my DH has his two male friends over they sure talk a lot about "yeah but shes a woman." So they think the exact way we do. That being a woman or a man is enough reason to expect or not expect something from them. They also say its not good enough reason. I can't tell you how many times I've heard these guys say "just because she has a vagina doesn't give her a pass to be stupid." So believe me, its not just you, and its not just men that use it as an excuse.

    Answer by Amelia512 at 5:06 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Yeah, it's one of those days.

    Comment by Mrs.B3 (original poster) at 1:34 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • lmao I wish I knew the answer to this I really do!

    Answer by butterfly3206 at 1:36 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Don't have the answer for that one - some guys really don't pay that much attention to detail, and some women don't either!! My DH and I both forgot about our anniversary a few years ago, we were both traveling for work and it was just a really busy time for us. (Normally we are both really good at remembering things!)

    Answer by Scuba at 1:50 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • The male brain really is different. There is less connectivity between the hemispheres which makes men less comunicative and they are also less sentimental and emotionally-driven by nature.

    This is not an excuse, this is fact. However, men (if they haven't already been taught by their mothers) can be encouraged and taught to be more sentimental. But it takes patience and time. Try a little experiement. Every time your husband does something little... I'm talking even the tiniest things...make a big deal out of it. The next time he opens a door for you, or holds your hand, changes a light bulb, anything! Smile at him and thank him, sincerely. Tell him how sweet and considerate it was. Over time, he will start to crave that attention from you and the ego boost and he'll do more and more. And he'll listen to you when you tell him what you want. Trust me, it works.

    Answer by moniquinha at 1:52 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Over 11 years should be enough time for it to sink in.

    Comment by Mrs.B3 (original poster) at 1:58 PM on Sep. 13, 2010