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my 3 year old son for the past 3 days has been saying i hate u over and over, i have no idea where he has heard this, i have tried putting him in time out and i also have tried to ignore this behavior, how can i get him to stop saying this? i am embarrassed to even leave the house.

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hollieshobbie

Asked by hollieshobbie at 2:05 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (275 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • My bestfriends son does that.. He just seems like he isn't happy at all.. They are taking him to a specialist.. There may be something wrong with him.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:07 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Everytime he says it, take 1 toy away... he will start getting the picture. Explain how it is hurtful to say it. Sounds like he figured out a button to push with you, and he is using it.
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 2:07 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Try something along the lines of: "hate isn't very nice. I understand you don't like me right now. Please say 'I don't like you' instead of 'I hate you.' "

    Keep it simple and strait forward. Try not to over-talk it out.
    sprime

    Answer by sprime at 2:09 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My 3 year old doesn't say I hate you, but he is saying " I don't love you". I think they are learning the power of words and get overwhelmed with the anger they feel and that's how they express it. I think maybe teaching him how to express anger appropriately should help. With my eldest I had to tell him that he should say "I don't like it when" or "it makes me angry when". But his issues weren't quite the same.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:17 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • A friend of mine used to say...........You might be unhappy with me right now. That's OK. But I always love you. It's just one idea.

    I used to say something like..........I know you are upset but we are still going to.........
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 2:21 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • not really helpful but has he seen Finding Nemo? That was my first thought cause at the drop off Nemo tells his dad "I hate you" before getting taken by the divers.
    mrspierce06

    Answer by mrspierce06 at 2:33 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Thanks so much for all the tips, i have been using them and trying to redirect his choice of words and he is now saying i'm sorry mommie i won't say that again. :)
    hollieshobbie

    Comment by hollieshobbie (original poster) at 4:22 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I tell my kids that saying those things hurts mommies feelings and makes her want to cry. I then explain that they don't like to have their feelings hurt to the point that they cry and neither does mommy. If we can't be nice then we can't speak at all for a while. If we can use nice words we can speak all we want.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 4:24 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Thats good he stopped. I taught my dd that hate was a word that when you say it its like cutting a person with a knife and it hurts really bad and that its not a nice word.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 10:14 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • today was much better, so now when he doesn't get the juice he wants he is saying that not make me happy, instead of i hate u.
    hollieshobbie

    Comment by hollieshobbie (original poster) at 9:35 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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