Kind of odd coincidence the article in the CM question about daughters and divorce seemed to cross over into some of the discussion in my Bad Mothers class at school today. (class discussion is kind of skewed, though, because the current reading was written in the 1860's - about a woman who gets fed up and leaves her family)
But the discussion - if a woman leaves her husband and takes the kids, the kids grow up around their mother, but not their father. Likewise, if she leaves the kids, they grow up around their father, but not the mother (this is no turning back kind of leaving, not sharing custody). Are those kids more likely to see the absent parent as a bad parent outright, and compare them to an "ideal" parent, or are they more likely to have a skewed idea in general of what the role of that missing parent is - meaning a girl w/o a mother is less likely to have maternal instincts or vice versa a boy w/o a father.
Answer by laura970 at 5:02 PM on Sep. 13, 2010
Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:03 PM on Sep. 13, 2010
Answer by LindaClement at 5:13 PM on Sep. 13, 2010
My mother left my father and my sister and I when I was 4 without notice. I think leaving your kids is inexcusable no matter what your going through with your husband. I was left to learn many things on my own and I had a hard time in my 20's dealing with not having a mother, but as far as being a good mother I think it depends on the person, my son is the most important part of my life, I would never leave him and I am a great mom, on the other-hand I don't think my sister was meant to be a mother or enjoys it.
Answer by mom-de-uno at 11:10 PM on Sep. 13, 2010
Answer by AirForceWife412 at 11:29 PM on Sep. 13, 2010
Answer by momofonelilguy at 12:10 AM on Sep. 14, 2010
Answer by matthewscandi at 8:07 AM on Sep. 14, 2010
It really just depends on the situation. Divorce and separation is not the end of the world. In fact, it can be beneficial for the adults and the children. Staying in a marriage that is not filled with love, respect, and where the partners are not happy.....is that what you want for your child's future marriage? If that is what is modeled that is what they will do later on - most likely. Stay when it is sour because it was shown to them this is the only way. I've seen marriages end wonderfully with the best interest of the children and marriages that were I'm going to get even and stick it to you. Of course the kids pay. As long as both parents keep in mind what is most important, then hopefully what is modeled will be healthy. You can't control what a child thinks. They may initially assign blame and label one parent as bad. But as long as you continue to maintain good boundaries, healthy relationships, are
Answer by frogdawg at 8:47 AM on Sep. 14, 2010
Answer by frogdawg at 8:51 AM on Sep. 14, 2010
Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 2:35 PM on Sep. 14, 2010