Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I know this is just teen drama but I need to know what you would do in this situation.

I really don't understand this. Maybe some of you ladies can help me to understand.

Anyway let's get started with this post. My 14 year old and our 13 year old neighbor (We'll call her Hannah) have been good friends for about 2 years now. (before that they were friends for a while and would stop talking) On Friday, my daughter went to the high school football game (she was supposed to cheer but the Freshmen ended up not cheering) with some of her friends. "Hannah" went with her friends as well. When my daughter saw "Hannah" she smiled at her and "Hannah" completely ignored her. This ended up happening every other time they saw each other and "Hannah" only spoke to my daughter once to tell her that she saw the boy she (Hannah) likes. So fast forward to Saturday. "Hannah" had stayed at her friend's house and came home later that day. She never texted dd like she usually does and still has not as of right now. (con't....)

Answer Question
 
russianitk

Asked by russianitk at 6:34 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 8 (271 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • My daughter thinks that "Hannah" is mad at her because she (Alyssa. My dd) went to the game with her friends and did not invite "Hannah" even if she was already going with her friends. I think I should probably add that "Hannah" stops talking to my daughter for a few days after she (Alyssa) hangs out with her friends. This happens EVERY TIME after Alyssa hangs out wiht someone. Especially our cousin who "Hannah" does not like at all. Also, if "Hannah" is with her friends she won't talk to dd but when "Hannah" comes home from being with her friends dd is expected to just go back to being best of friends with "Hannah".

    What is your opinion on this? Why do you think she acts like this with my daughter? I'm sorry if that whole post didn't seem to make any sense. I'll explain it again if you need me to.
    russianitk

    Comment by russianitk (original poster) at 6:34 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • almost sounds like a made for tv movie, lol. It seems to me that "Hannah" is happy to have someone she can be herself around (because she has to act cool in front of her other friends) but she doesn't want anyone to really know how close she and your daughter are. She doesn't want your daughter hanging out with other friends because then Alyssa (cute name!) might figure out what a bad friend "Hannah" is. Since your daughter apparently has no lack for friends, I would say that she needs to just stop being friends with "hannah" and tell her that she doesn't want to get used anymore. They're either friends or they aren't, its not a switch you can turn on and off (I said that to a boyfriend once, haha). She might end up losing "Hannah" as a friend forever, but in the end it'll be better for her. "Hannah" doesn't seem to be a good influence anyway.
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 6:41 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • She just sounds a little bit insecure. I would have your daughter continue what she's doing since she doesn't seem to be doing anything wrong. She should continue to be nice and polite, but definitely not rely on this girl. It's good that she has other friends. Neighborhood friendships tend to be friendships of convenience and it's nice to have someone to come home and hang out with.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 6:43 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Sounds like normal teenage stuff to me- I wouldn't worry about it!!
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 6:45 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Wow- too much drama- If I were you, I'd tell your daughter to make some new friends. This "Hannah" sounds way too wishy-washy & unreliable as a friend. Some teens (esp girls) run hot/cold for no good reason. (Watch the movie "Mean Girls" it does a typical high school pretty well w/ all the cliques) As long as your child is nice to everyone, then she need not necessarily fit into a specific clique. At least she has cheerleading- so she has a group of friends already. The fact that she cheers could be a reason why that girl acts that way. Some people have misconceptions about the "type" of girl who cheers. Try not to get too involved in the drama except to be there to listen-otherwise it's like high school all over again! Good Luck to all involved.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:47 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • No idea. I had a "friend" like that in middle & high school. She would be my on again/off again "frienemy." She would get mad if a proceeded w/ plans w/ friend if her mom didn't let her come along. She was jealous of things I had & would ignore me if I got new shoes or clothes or CD, etc. (Then would be my friend again once she got something new) and would take everything I say the wrong way. She was just a complete witch. We finally duked it out our junior year in high school. (Someone was making fun of her new purse & I was trying to explain to her that she didn't need to worry about it and she started talking sh*t and I guess years of regressed anger made her wanted to fight me...)

    Anyway, my point is, teenage girls are stupid. Especially the immature witchy ones w/ anger management issues a deeper complex than one cares to figure out. I'd just ignore Hannah & both girls will figure out who their real friends are.
    paige8608

    Answer by paige8608 at 6:48 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Your daughter is wrong. 'Hannah' is attempting to control your daughter with her attention, texting, eye contact, etc.

    Whether or not your daughter plays along (or behaves as if it's important to her) is up to your daughter --not 'Hannah' with her Queen Bee methods.

    Personal story: my kids were playing with a child who wanted her own way, and pulled out the 'you're not my friends anymore'... my ears perked up in curiosity about how they'd handle it... both of them nodded solemnly, and my youngest leaned forward and asked very gently 'do you need to call your mom to go home now?'

    The backpedaling was HILARIOUS!! This child just unleashed DefCon4 in the weaponry of controlling other people and both of my kids just sat back and thought 'oh. Okay.' Totally unexpected for her, and she spent the rest of the time here bewildered and off balance.

    Good times...
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:49 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • The good thing about kids is they are freinds one minute and enemies the iext and before you know it they wil unsepaable once agan itsa kid thin we may never undertand they wil work tou. trust me I raised 3 to adult hod sa it happe everytime
    dynameteduck

    Answer by dynameteduck at 7:16 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • well something happen over hanna house that your daughter is not telling you about. I would hint that I know something went on over her friend house and that i am here to listen regardless of what it is ,and you are their for her when she is ready to talk about it.
    Blue1212

    Answer by Blue1212 at 7:27 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • normal teenage drama
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 11:53 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN