Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How do I stop get over my guilt for bad choices in my life that have affected me severely even while I'm doing everything I can to resolve them?

Answer Question

Asked by ShadyzLady at 6:53 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Health

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Change your outlook. honey you CANNOT change the past. All you can do is take the experiences and learn from them. Guilt is pointless, all it does is chain down to repeating those mistakes. You have to let it go. You cant take it back.all you have is today, this moment in front of you. just be the best you you can be RIGHT NOW

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 7:00 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My personal view, this is me and me only.

    Guilt is a pointless emotion for me. If I've already made the choice to do something whether it was damaging to myself or others. Feeling guilty after the fact is pointless. I can't change what I have done, I can only learn from the choice and move forward with my life and hopefully not make that choice (type of choice) again.. Feeling guilty and wallowing, making myself feel worse about it would be counter productive for me personally. It would not resolve anything, it would not change anything, all it would do is bring me down and be a constant reminder of bad choices made.. instead of moving forward and focusing on the lesson I learned due to the choice made.

    To move forward. I accept what I have done (the choices that I made), I accept the consequences/reprecussions, learn from them, and then just move on. No guilt needed for those things. Just acceptance and realization.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:02 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Learn from it, don't repeat is and get on with your life.

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:05 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • to realize that you have taken the step to change how you were and where you wanna be. once you realize that big step then the guilt will go away. you cant change the past so learn from it sweetie!!!

    good luch

    Answer by pinkdena at 7:05 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • You have to forgive yourself. It's as simple as that.. Everyone makes mistakes, and that how we grow. Take the lessons you learned and move forward.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 7:07 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • As long as we live, we are going to make mistakes! If you are doing something to resolve these issues, then pat yourself on the back. This healing will take time. Sit down and make a list of all the good things you have done and wish to acomplish. Sometimes it helps to see things written down.Good luck and give yourself a break!

    Answer by kasaline at 7:13 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Life is to short to dwell in the peace. If you can not forgive yourself you will never have the peace you so rightly deserve. You are a human, human are not prefect we make mistakes move on............................ Whenever you feel guilty turn that guilt into sometime positive . Do something that you love, tell someone you love them, do something good for someone.......................... Always remember you are special, unique , human being not perfect but wise enough not to make the same mistake again.


    Answer by janitablue at 7:14 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • The fact that you feel guilt means that you see the mistakes you've made, and that you know the things you did may have been wrong. I know how hard it can be to let go of guilt, but in my eyes, that fact that you feel that guilt makes you a good person. It means you are taking responsibility for your actions, you are holding yourself accountable, and that's something not enough people do today.

    All you can do is try to make amends for your mistakes, and make better choices in the future. No one is perfect....and as long as we're alive, we'll make mistakes. Be the best person you can be, and take responsibility for your mistakes, and forgive yourself.

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:32 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Thank you all for that. I love cafemom, wish I wouldn't have been away for so long! I've spent so much time by myself without friends since I left here, that's where the biggest mistake in my life took place. But you are all correct, I do accept responsibility for my wrongs, it's just that other people can't let them go no matter what I do, and so the guilt for that comes back again. I really appreciate the answers and the encouragement.

    Comment by ShadyzLady (original poster) at 1:47 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • When we ask God for forgiveness for our mistakes, He wipes our late clean and doesn't even remember them from that point on! If you go to God with your problems, ask forgiveness, and pray for strength to forgive yourself, you will find peace in the knowledge that no matter what you've done, you are forgiven. Finally, there is power in your words. When the enemy puts negative thoughts in your mind, reminding you of past mistakes, resist the urge to give in to those thoughts. Instead, you can say outloud what God through the Bible tells us. You can look up topics that you struggle with (like forgiveness) and say them outloud, such as "Acts 10:43 To Him all the prophets testify (bear witness) that everyone who believes in Him [who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Him, giving himself up to Him] receives forgiveness of sins through His name." You can also get peace through listening to CC music and singing His praises outloud.

    Answer by carol2m2 at 3:16 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.