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2 Bumps

when you got engaged, did your fiance ask for your hand in marriage or not?

If so, how did it go? Did your parents approve of him more b/c of it? Did your father respect him more as a man b/c of it?

My fiance wants to ask for my hand in marriage but I don't want him to because its a disaster waiting to happen. My dad doesn't like black people so needless to say he doesn't approve, I'm sure he won't give us his blessing.
Alex knows this but says that him asking for my hand and speaking to my dad man to man will make my dad see that he's a responsible man and that as a man and as a father my dad will respect that.
I highly doubt it.

What do you think?

Answer Question

Asked by my_monkey_baby at 7:11 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (888 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • If your dad does not like him because of his race,he is beaten before he starts. R u white???? message me please.

    Answer by dancer at 7:15 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My husband didn't ask my dad for my hand in marriage. Of course, when I told my dad we were engaged, my dad's response was, "You weren't already engaged?"

    Answer by BUBaby at 7:17 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My husband did not ask for my hand in marriage b/c my parents are deceased

    Answer by soccerfanatic14 at 7:17 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Yes, my husband asked for my hand in marriage. He flew me down to the Dominican Republic and while we were in the water in the Caribbean at a secluded beach looking for seashells. I felt a seashell with my feet (with all topic fish swimming by my legs) and asked him to get it for me. He dove down and came up holding a gorgeous princess cut diamond ring and asked me to spend my life with him. It was such a beautiful day!! Apparently the day before he made an international call to my dad to ask permission.. which my dad answered, "sure.. if she wants to!" He didn't want to ask sooner in case my mom somehow heard cause it would have spread, haha.

    I think that if he wants to I would let him. I don't think the future bride should be involved in it. Try not to stress yourself and let him handle it.

    Answer by Kisses4Henry at 7:22 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • i think it's an honorable thing to do and it just might open your dad's eyes to the gentleman that your fiance is - my dad was stationed in Okinawa when i met my future husband - so my future husband wrote to my dad overseas and asked for my hand in marriage (he already knew all about him from my mother and me, of course) and asked if he could give me my diamond on Valentine's Day - daddy came back stateside in june and we were married june 6 - yes, your fiance should ask for your hand in marriage - it shows his respect for your dad - and shows that he is a gentleman with manners .... congratulations!!!

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 7:22 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My hubby proposed while I was away at college. He came up on the weekend after he got back from basic training with my mom. That weekend was also a big tennis meet for me too. He proposed to me in front of my team and alot of other college friends there watching. Not to mention the other team. He got down on one knee and asked if I would be his forever. I of course said yes. :) I was so embaressed. I don't like being the center of attention. Anyway my mom didn't think he was good enough for me and that he was too imature, but she wanted me happy so she just bit her tongue. As for my father, we don't get along and he doesn't want nothing to do with me nor I him.

    @ My_monkey, wow still racial issues going on today. So sad! Anyway I don't think it would hurt for your BF to ask your dad if he can marry you. You never know might help, but if like you said he doesn;t like blacks then I don't think it will matter to him.


    Answer by bunny_13 at 7:23 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My husband barely asked me - I think it was a rather muddled and poorly phrased question so, no, he didn't ask my dad but we also paid for the wedding ourselves!

    Answer by DebYoung at 7:23 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My parents are very conservative and did not approve of my long haired boyfriend. I told him not to ask, I knew what the answer would have been.

    Also I think it is an out dated custom and I am a person capable of making my own choices and am not chattel to be bought/sold or traded for sheep and a mule.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 7:23 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Yes my husband asked my father for permission. I think my father appreciated it. I think you should let your fiance ask anyway, at least he tried to meet your dad halfway. Just let your fiance know what he's in for!

    Answer by Esmrlda at 7:24 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • He did, and I have no idea what they said --no one has ever told me. I suspect my husband announced his plans and my dad said 'cool.'

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:28 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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