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I'm so perfect? Well, this is awkward...

Okay, I'm in a really awkward situation right now. I've had a certain friend for a long time. We get along great. She occasionally journals/blog online. I went on there recently and saw that 10 days prior a journal was written. It was in the style of a poem or song, and it was clearly referencing me. There were unmistakable things in it that pointed to me. My friend went on to write about how perfect I was, how great it must be, that my life, my house, and my family were all "so perfect". She was then writing about how unfair it is. Now, she has had a much harder life than I have had, that's for sure. But...my life is not perfect, though I am very happy. I'm definitely not perfect as a person, and I've never claimed to be. I don't know why she said these things, and I don't know how or if I should approach her about it! She didn't sound mad, or like she was blaming me, but it's still really awkward for me! What would you do?

 
LovingSAHMommy

Asked by LovingSAHMommy at 7:37 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • Me personally.

    I would let it be. I would not say one anything to her about it one way or another.. Why? Well, her perception and my reality may very well be totally different from one another. However, I must obviously be living, communicating, viewing life..etc.. In a manner that gives off the perception that my life is "perfect".. If that be the case. So be it. If someone else wants to view my life that way ( whether their are intending it as a positive or a negtiave) then who am I to say anything to them about it. Maybe a friend who has that view, may find some way based on my example, to see the perfection in their own lives. Maybe it could help a friend realize that perfection is in the eye of the beholder, that we can all have "perfect" lives, once we accept and realize that it's all about our perception.

    Someone thinking my life is perfect or imperfect is neither a postive or a negative to me. It just is. lol
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:43 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Envy is a pretty ordinary emotion... and if you find people around you tend to feel that way, well that's pretty flattering, eh?

    Otherwise, here's a different perspective: what other people think of you is none of your business. So... ignore it, pretend (or decide) that it's really about someone else, act like you've never seen it... There is nothing you can do to even out the world, or make her past better or your past worse... so live today. Enjoy today.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:41 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Her poem sounds to me a bit like Shakespeare, Sonnet 29. http://www.artofeurope.com/shakespeare/sha4.htm


    It's really just an expression of frustration with her own life, and a "grass is greener" longing for what appears easier from her perspective. I would let it be, simply because there's nothing to be gained by saying anything. If you try to point out how your life is not perfect or her life is not as bad as she thinks, she may feel patronized.

    geminilove

    Answer by geminilove at 7:44 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Huh. Has she treated you any differently since she wrote the blog? This is weird. If she's a really good friend, maybe just bring up the blog, tell her you read it. Ask her who it's about. If it IS about you, tell her you are confused as to why she thinks things are so perfect for you. I know you said there are certain things she said that point to you, but, maybe there is someone else she knows that it is actually about? Just ask her about it. You don't seem to shy on here, are you shy IRL?
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 7:44 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Otherwise, here's a different perspective: what other people think of you is none of your business. So... ignore it, pretend (or decide) that it's really about someone else, act like you've never seen it... There is nothing you can do to even out the world, or make her past better or your past worse... so live today. Enjoy today. "

    Thank you. You're right. However, I wasn't flattered because I felt like I had somehow unconsciously made her envy me and feel bad about her own life. You know, the internet can be a downfall. You end up knowing too much about people's business. If she had just written it in a paper journal, that would have been nice, lol.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Comment by LovingSAHMommy (original poster) at 7:45 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Just ask her about it. You don't seem to shy on here, are you shy IRL? "

    LOL! This made me laugh. I'm not shy anywhere, but when it's a real situation that involves me, I give things a lot more contemplation. I don't like friction. I like harmony, lol. I also don't like awkward situations, and I feel awkward with this. It was most definitely about me. She all but said my name. Arrrggg, it's just all weird. She did something similar to this when we kids, but it wasn't so awkward.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Comment by LovingSAHMommy (original poster) at 7:49 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • It would just make me feel guilty.. If you guys are great friends & she doesnt know your problems, then obviously something is missing in your relationship..
    My bff has a wonderful life & im so great she has that life & always feel i can learn something from being around here.. But I KNOW her life is not perfect!
    If I were in your shoes I would just try bringing up anything that may be no so perfect about your life.. make sure they are not lil things like a "less than perfect house" or "a nail broke" ... but bring up something REAL a fight u & hubby had. money is tight. kids acting up.
    Maybe try lifting her up, since obvioulsy she feels your life is better.. Her nice home. car. how in love she seems with her hubby. IDK .. lol
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 7:50 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Pixie trix, I SO agree with you. Maybe my life appears perfect bc I love my life. I love my son and my family more than anything, and if I have them, my life does feel perfect to me. It's all about perception, and they're all I really need to be happy.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Comment by LovingSAHMommy (original poster) at 7:51 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Seems like maybe she's not very happy with her life right now and you have the kind of life she wishes she had. Instead of confronting her or being upset maybe just be the friend that she needs right now =)
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:51 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • It would just make me feel guilty.. If you guys are great friends & she doesnt know your problems, then obviously something is missing in your relationship..
    My bff has a wonderful life & im so great she has that life & always feel i can learn something from being around here.. But I KNOW her life is not perfect!......."

    The thing is, I do tell her those things. I jut haven't had any majorly bad things happen in my life. I've been really lucky. I've never even had anyone close to me die, and I'm 25. She always had bad time with her divorced parents growing up, while I have a great relationship with mine, who have been married for 31 years. She has always been poor, and I've always had money. She rarely sees her daughter, I'm a SAHM. In a way, I can see WHY she envies me, but I still don't like it. How the heck to I offer her some imperfect thing about me when they seem minor to the troubles she's been through?
    LovingSAHMommy

    Comment by LovingSAHMommy (original poster) at 7:56 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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