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2 Bumps

I feel like I am crazy...

My ex and I have been seperated for almost 3 years. My ex moved to TX for about year and a half with his "whatever" and he did not see or talk to my son. During that time, my son spent every other weekend with my mother-in-law. My ex moved back in April. Due to him not being around, I slowly eased visitation back in because I did not want to just throw my 5 year old into a bad situation. Anyway, my ex lives with his Mother now (where my son was spending every other weekend). This past weekend was the 2nd weekend my ex was fully responsible for my son. Come to find out, he spent Saturday out and stayed at his girlfriends house leaving my son with his Mother. Obviously I trust his Mother, but I was pissed because he only sees him 4 times a month and decided to go out. When I confronted him, he told me that he will do what he wants. Am I wrong for getting upset? I feel that when he is responsible for his son, he should be there.

Answer Question
 
S.D.A

Asked by S.D.A at 9:49 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (71 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It sounds like you put the mom in the responsible position and dad is just passing it on to mom like you did. I don't think you should be upset. It will take time for him to figure out what being a dad is all about.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:52 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • You know what, it isn't worth it, don't get upset, don't allow yourself to feel anything at all. He is making his own decisions. If your ex-mil is still willing to have him over let that continue.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 9:52 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Does that also mean that when you are responsible for your son, you should be there? No going out, no getting babysitters, no leaving the son with a responsible adult of your choosing?
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 9:54 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I've been where you are momma, and I still get upset....We ended up going to mediation over it, and it is now court ordered that he is to not drink while he has our son, or 24 hours prior to having him....Now, we're going through him dating a chick for 2 months, knocking her up and them buying house together...

    I don't know what to tell you, I still worry to death about where my son is and what he is doing the 2 weekends a month he is with his bio father..
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 9:59 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Dont waste your time getting upset with him. Its great your son has a good relationship with his grandmother. Let your ex figure things out if he ever will and just focus on the mother in law.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 9:59 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Um, yes. Being resposible for my son is being there for him in every way possible. My son lives with me, I do everything for him. I go out when I do NOT have him which is twice a month. His Dad has not been there for almost two years. The fact that he only sees him twice a month (after not seeing him for so long) and hands him off is frustrating. Why not go out when he doesnt have him?
    S.D.A

    Comment by S.D.A (original poster) at 10:02 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • You are not wrong at all. I would be upset too. He should of stayed at home cuz you left your son with him not with his mom
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 11:25 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • exactly...Yes, my son did spend every other weekend with his Mother when he was in TX. Since he's been back, he lives with Mom, BUT that does not mean his Mom is still fully resp for my son. My ex thinks if he plays super Dad for a day that is all thats needed..his job is done. I guess he doesnt quite understand what all is behind the title DAD...He only works part time so he has all the time in the world to go out with his gf...I just dont get why he chooses to go out when my son is with him...Ugh...oh well, his loss.
    S.D.A

    Comment by S.D.A (original poster) at 8:00 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • No you are absolutely right.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 4:51 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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