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4 Bumps

are your kids that content?

You know, my husband and I have tried so hard for the last 10 years to give our children what we never had. Listening to them, loads of encouragement, time with them etc etc. But you know what, all we get is whining, complaining and melt downs. I am so tired of it, and actually am becoming quite depressed. I feel we have failed somewhere along the line. My children just never seem that happy, and always have a chip on their shoulder. Does anyone else have to deal with this, what can you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Sep. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • well I don't have a lot to compare it to but.. my son turns 3 in 2 months and we tried for him for 3 years - we were at a time in our lives where we are completely are devoted to him, of course we are A "tad" more over protective than it seems that other parents are but we also LOVE spending time with him - -and we WANT to - that seems to be the difference also - we have a hard time finding couples or people in general that want to be with their kids.. well anyway, we read books, seem patient, try to do the "right things" parenting classes we are taking, stuff like that and in return we end up getting the same treatment - tantrum after fit after explosion- far more than the terrible 2's or 3's mind you - we are at a loss, its like parents who seem to never play with thier kids and shrug off everything ( like my sister ) seem to have these wonderful obedient obeying children.. I don't have advice but I'll bump ya!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:04 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Good question. I see this in my older son, sometimes and we've done what you guys have done. I'd be open to any answers too. We explain to them that they are fortunate (no Wii or computer or DS yet) but that they have A LOT. Overall, we've tried to communicate to them that they are lucky and we talk about how circumstances could change and we could not have all this "stuff" just like others. IDK.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:55 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I only have 1 child right now and he is 8 months old. But he is very mellow. My mom says I was blessed because my sistersand brother were "hell raisers" lol. But I was a mellow kid too. So maybe it has something to do with it. But my sister's kids are always crazy and whiny, and acting like jerks and they get loads of love and encouragement.
    MommaJanes09

    Answer by MommaJanes09 at 9:56 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • my kids are very content. i just remain calm and positive and steadfast, and they pick up on this. i am very goo dat being both benevolent and openign their minds and treating them liek small people, and also keeping things age approriate with bedtimes and relaxing and stimulating times. and saying i love you a lot each day and smiling.
    silverelf

    Answer by silverelf at 9:56 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Well my opinion is this, I give my kids the most love I can, I can't buy them everything they want or be with them all the time, I try to teach them both all things that I feel kids should know, My oldest is wonderful usually I never have a problem with her but the littelest one well her dad gives her everything she wants and she acts like that, drives me insane, but i continue on and keep teaching them cause i know in the end they will know i cared and loved them so much.
    pinkpinkpink

    Answer by pinkpinkpink at 9:58 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Maybe you should stop trying to give them everything you think they need, and stop being their friends, and start being their parents... I see so many kids that are spoiled with junk, and don't know how to appreciate what they do have. Make them earn the things they get, give them responsibilities, chores etc. Maybe then they would be more grateful for what they have because they earned it. Ours are content, and they don't go without, but they earn what they get material wise, and we insist on respect from them.... I have told our boys, I'm not your friend, I'm your Mother, and I love them, and would die for them, but I will not tolerate disrespect, and attitude.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:00 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • There is a reason why you didn't get everything you wanted. My kids don't get everything they have wanted. There is a lesson in this and what you are dealing with is the result of you giving your kids everything they have wanted. You have not taught them how to earn something or what it is like to go with out something. Possession and getting to do everything wanted isn't teaching them the value of money, possessions or time.
    marchar2002

    Answer by marchar2002 at 10:02 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • i have the same problem myself but only with my teen dd..she done made me feel so bad cause i can no longer afford to do what we use to do...i tried to take them places,out of state everysummer as our family end of the trip..out to eat at least once a wk as a family, a new pair of shoes every month..but due to the economy..i no longer have a job...but she made me feel so bad..that i got depressed to the point i was getting sick..but i woke up an told her that i do the best that i can as a parent an i gave her everything i could but i cant draw blood from a turnip...an i cant help that she dont appreciate what she did have..an that God obviously needed to humble me down in wht i was doing cause i was raising u more on material than the love i thought i was giving...an she just got to deal with it..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 10:05 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I dont think she's talking ALL material possesions here which is what I mean also, he's not spoiled by toys and any treats he wants, but he gets our attention and doesn't get shrugged off and still whine after whine - I think I do understand why you are frustrated.. i feel it too!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:07 PM on Sep. 13, 2010