Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Happily Married 26 years but feeling so lonely adult content

My husband and I have been married for over 26 years and we are very much in love and very happy together. We work at the same company. We do things together all the time. Our kids are adults now so we have lots of time for ourselves and just enjoying each others company. The problem is that we very rarely ever have sex any more. When I bring up the subject with him, he literally turns red and giggles like a 13 year old boy. I've told him that I feel very lonely and hurt about this and it does bother him as well. He's had his testosterone levels tested and that came up as normal. When we do have sex, he has Cialis to help with his ED - but it's a matter of getting him interested again. He doesn't understand it either. We used to have a very active sex life but now we have sex maybe every 4 months or so.

Answer Question

Asked by LOOneyPLR at 1:08 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (62 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Hi, first congrats on 26 yrs of marriage! That is awesome. But now we have to focus on the problem here in. I know you know this, so Im just going to say it, counseling. Marriage counseling, sex therapist counseling, but seek out some kind of counseling for what you are going through. If your husband doesnt want to go, then you go and at least learn all you can about what is going on here and how to fix it. It is fixable and thats why there are licensed counselors who deal with this every single day. You dont have to go it alone anymore and your marriage deserves so much more, cause I can feel the love there between you and your hubby,,,good luck!

    Answer by beyondhopes at 1:37 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I will be hones and say that I have been married 30 years and my husband lost interest in sex about 9 years (or so)ago It is about every 4-6 months for us also. My husband doesn't take any medications and does not cheat or anything. He just doesn't want sex very often. When we do have sex, he has problems. I think it may be due to his smoking. Smoking causes ED. I have heard.
    I love him and I know he loves me. I do not want anyone else. I lost interest myself because of menopause but i do miss the cuddling and affection.
    I don't know how to advise you since I am in the same boat that you are in. Just have patience with him and find ways to show affection.

    Answer by violetz at 1:49 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Also, find hobbies to fill your time, maybe volunteer somewhere so you can stay busy and not feel so lonely.
    good luck

    Answer by violetz at 1:50 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • well, a man's private makes them a MAN. he is probably very insecure & embarrassed about it. Maybe you could do some different things to help him along-just a thought!

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 3:48 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.