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if someone hurt you to your very soul and changed who you are, then they passed away, how would you get closure so you could get on with your life? adult content

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witchmomone

Asked by witchmomone at 1:44 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I have been thinking about this lately, im not sure i know not much help but i just have tried to come to terms with things on my own cause they do not care about what they have done... I wish you all the luck though!
    anfisasmommy

    Answer by anfisasmommy at 1:48 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I would get closure by realizing I get this one shot at life. I can hold onto the past or I can move on to a better life. I am only in a life changing situation from what that person did, if I want to stay there. My ex used to beat the crap out of me and I divorced him for it a long time ago. It has taken me a long, long time to pick up the pieces and move forward with MY life. In death there is closure, there is the reality that the life that was,,,that hurt you so much, is no more. Feel that feeling in your soul, that you can walk away and be free to start a new life for yourself, recreate yourself...the past is gone hon
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • What anfisasmommy said. You have to find the peace within yourself. Dead or alive that person would've never "helped" you find closure.
    Also, people can only change you if you let them. This sounds easy but very hard in practice and hard to completely understand. I know...but once you find that you have all the power and control over yourself it's easy, it's just getting to that point. Trust yourself and forgive yourself and the one who did harm to you to free yourself from your negative thoughts and past. You will get there. I promise.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • This question is very broad was it someone close like a family member or a family friend or just someone you knew but werent really close to. I think that has a lot to do with how (if you need it) you would go about getting closure. So since there isnt a whole lot of detail in this question my answer is if someone hurt me to my very soul and changed who i was why would i need closure on their passing?
    bradymoma86

    Answer by bradymoma86 at 2:00 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I would get professional help. I don't allow just anyone to affect me to the point of no return i am just one strong cookie.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:49 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I'd write a letter to them and tell them all that I needed to say for one and for all.
    OR
    I'd do a little visualisation exercise. In where I go back to being that young person who got hurt and say to the person who hurt me, in my imagination, all that I need to say as if I was strong enough back then. I'd help that young person I was, become strong enough to say it and to grow and to become more that what I am in the present moment.

    If your not familiar with visualisation, maybe asking a therapist for some help on this would be useful.

    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:45 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • my dad was a molester and molested around 100 kids. he was the true boogie man. he has no headstone so i want to buy one and put on it his name and child molester
    witchmomone

    Comment by witchmomone (original poster) at 12:10 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I feel ya. My dad is a molester but he's still alive. I have every intention of pissing on his grave once he's in the ground. I have no clue how many he has molested, but I do know it's more than just his daughters. I've written several letters to him to express my feelings but never given them to him. He's incapable of understand the pain he has caused me and my sisters.

    If you can, just keep writing, talking about it, just keep expressing. It's the secrets kept that have hurt me the most. Are you getting counselling?
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 1:10 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • i've been in counseling a number of times but with my severe depression i've always quit. i'm on antidepressants now, so my doc and i think it's time to give it a try again. i start later this month. i'm terrified.
    witchmomone

    Comment by witchmomone (original poster) at 1:14 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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