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Anyone feel that their semi adult daughter does not like them?

I feel that anything I do is wrong. I had to move her from her LIFE and FRIENDS to Calif and she will not even try to get a job or help me with anything. She is waiting for me to fail so we can move back, but I am a fighter. I am just so hurt that she can't support me with this move and try to make a life for herself HERE. She told a friend a few months ago that she would try-NOT happening! I feel so used by her actions! Will I ever get over this behavior? I often wonder!

 
NicolesMommy

Asked by NicolesMommy at 3:07 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 22 (12,504 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Only a mom that cares about there kids would ask a question like I will pray for you & your family.
    LoVe4Free

    Answer by LoVe4Free at 2:37 AM on Sep. 20, 2010

  • WOW^^^

    You are doing what's best for your family. At the age, that reaction is typical...SHE is the one who needs to get over it. You are the mother and are doing what you feel is the best., end of story. Much might not come of it now, but have a talk with her. Explain it wasn't a 'punishment' but an oppurtunity... something a lot of people don't get... In the end you are the mother and that is your house... You set the rules and she needs to accept them and abide... GOOD LUCK MAMA!!
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 3:18 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • (my wow was to 'truthteller'
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 3:19 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • If she needs to get a job than stop giving her money, buying her clothes, have her take lunch to school. Of course her behavior is typical even though it hurts you but she is old enough for tough love.
    And don't show you are hurting, my mom use to, still does sometimes, and honestly, it just annoys me instead of making me feel guilty. When she shapes up you can tell her that her behavior was hurtful but right now you need to be drill sargent mom.
    DonnaPinitonya

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 3:27 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • First let me tell you that people are going to answer how they want and if you don't tell them the whole story they really cannot get a true picture of the situation. It's your business either way what you share.

    If she's 20 as a PP said, she's not a semi-adult, she is an adult. She did not have to come with you and she is plenty old enough to support herself. If you want her to take care of herself, make her. Simple as that.
    AmeliasMommy206

    Answer by AmeliasMommy206 at 8:40 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Hi NicolesMommy, I agree that a 20-something still seems like a "semi-adult" - unformed, not focused, except to distance themself from their mother. Now, I know some moms have the good fortune of a close relationship with their daughter, but, try as I might, I don't have that.

    My only consolation is friends and family have advised me that she will grow up someday and seek me out. I guess time will tell.

    So, don't be rough on yourself, or even on her. You are doing the best that you can.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 6:57 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I'm sorry she's hurtin you like this..... However, I think my Mom could probably kinda relate. I really don't like the person my mother is anymore. She's totally different from who she was just 5 years ago and the things I see are not good. That being said I think its completely unreasonable for your daughter not to help support herself. She is old enough, she is fully capable. My brother is doing this right now. It drives me bonkers. I keep telling my mom to cut him off. Sure he's still goin gto eat the food while he's in this house but take the car keys, cut off the cash flow, disconnect his internet. Its ridiculous for him to think its a free ride. She won't do it because she doesn't want to be the bad guy but she is being the bad guy now. She's teaching him its okay to not try, to be a leach, to be irresponsible because somebody will always pick up your slack and its Just Wrong!
    GoldenLinds

    Answer by GoldenLinds at 3:17 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • NO bashing please! I did not write everything, only part of my story!
    NicolesMommy

    Comment by NicolesMommy (original poster) at 4:20 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Well, if she's feeling this way, explain to her that when she's grown, she can move back from wherever you guys came from and she can do what she wants with her life....but until then you will ACT as if you care. Sometimes, we as parents forget that we are the parents and whatever decisions we make are based on making things better for our children...and children should learn to stay in their places, be it grown or not...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:25 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I agree with truthteller.
    Kassey713

    Answer by Kassey713 at 12:13 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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