Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Always wondered...

I love being a mother... I loved being pregnant. But why do people give you so much encouragement and support when you are pregnant... and then once you have your baby, many women only criticize, when they know it is very hard to be a new mommy? I am certainly not talking about helpful advice, but CRITICISM, not constructive! Being pregnant was very easy for me. I have never felt better, but people were always putting pillows underneath me and spoiling me (I am grateful for that!)... I also have had a really easy time being a new mom. My daughter is an extremely happy baby, and sleeps all night. However I know that its not like this for most new moms... Times are stressful. This should not be your most critisized time... Anyone else feel this way? I have had to be kind of blunt about not recieving criticism to a number of people, but it ticks me off. If I want advice I will ask.

Answer Question

Asked by LovinMyMikayla at 8:03 PM on Oct. 16, 2008 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Yeah, I know how you feel. I actually had pretty much the same experience as you, my daughter is an absolute angel and was sleeping through the night at five and a half weeks, and would have before if I had let her. She is never unhappy without a good reason, and sadly, all the criticism we got was from family members who wanted to tell us that we weren't training her well enough, or were doing it the wrong way! Good grief!
    And even if a mother is struggling, people need to realize that she is doing the best she can, and needs encouragement, not criticism!

    Answer by Cheryn at 8:20 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • We also get a lot of that from our family. We have a two year old and had a stillborn daughter in January. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and my family just says "did you TRY to get pregnant". It's stupid, they should be happy and paying for a healthy baby not judging me for how long I've waited. People will ALWAYS judge you on how you raise you kids but you do what you feel is right and tell them "you had your chance, now its mine".

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 8:36 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I'm with you on this. I haven't had a lot of people directly telling me what to do but I have had a lot of comments that they seem to think are constructive, but aren't. Like an in-law who about a week after I gave birth started on all this stuff about autism and genetics and how I should dress the baby in only wool, and all throughout the pregnancy and after about how I HAD to breastfeed, and the most disturbing thing of all was when she told me she had left her baby all alone while having postpartum depression (more like psychosis if you ask me) and that I should be careful not to do the same thing and when I needed someone to talk to I could do it with her.. and when I did she turned around and blabbed to my husband. Hah. I don't know, I tend to think people like that may just be jealous that things are going smoothly for you.

    Answer by detroit.mommy at 11:44 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
what do you think?