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Mom of a toddler-- So stressed. Am I alone?

So I have an 18 mos. old daughter who is very active and throws about 20 tantrums a day. I also work 30hrs/ week. My husband is around and pretty involved, but my daughter is very attached to me and so I end up doing the majority of the childcare and housework. SOmetimes I get sooo stressed out. I feel so helpless and tired. I recently took her to see my family for 4 days by myself. She was very clingy and difficult the whole trip and I returned exhausted and snippy. I feel like a bitch for being this way, but sometimes I just can't help it. This motherhood thing is sooo exhausting and stressful to me. Does anyone else feel this way? I feel bad about it. I wish I could be stronger. I think of all the women who have it so much harder and I feel like a loser for not being able to keep it together at all times. Advice or commiseration is needed!

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danielp

Asked by danielp at 11:01 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 11 (542 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Im in the same boat. I work 25 hours a week and my husband works 60+ so I don't have any help what so ever there lol. I feel your pain.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 11:02 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • My son isn't bad really at all, but he does throw his tantrums and I get to my wits end sometimes and I get snippy or bitchy too, don't worry, you are not alone!
    Stephernie88

    Answer by Stephernie88 at 11:03 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • My grandson has a rare genetic immune deficiency disease that I have and all 3 of my sons had. He turned 2 on Sat. Secondary to the disease he has FTT and eczema from head to toe. He has been miserable with eczema since he was about 10 mo. He requires a lot of holding. I have to hold him when he takes naps to get him comfortable and to keep him from starting to scratch. If he starts scratching than he wakes himself up. He only has a 60% chance of survival.


    My son and I share primary care of him because it is so difficult. My DIL can only be alone with him for a couple of hours. She went back to work and my son is a SAHF and student.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:07 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • For us parenting isn't an issue. I'm great with toddlers and my son learned from me. He tried a couple of tantrums and when that didn't work he never did it again. We can take him anywhere and he is well behaved. When you know your child/grandchild could die you tend to not sweat the small. However, things like him messing up the whole house are still stressful when it seems like you can't keep up.


    If you learn a few parenting skills/tricks you can change how your child behaves. Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is a great book. Her book Without Spanking or Spoiling shaped my parenting 30 years ago. Her web site is called Star Parenting.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:14 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • You also have to remember the women who DONT do it. You are going to snap and you will cry and you will want to quit. But, thats life. Every part of life is like this. I struggle daily with my kids grinding my nerves. I have to walk away and once Daddys home, he takes over for an hour, my ipod goes in and I work out all my fustration. Its a good release that I look forward to. I recommend just leaving for X amount of time and let the Dad deal with it for a hot minute. And do the same for him. Ya know? Kids are going to be a pain till we die lol but they have their amazing moments. :)
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 11:15 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • No you are not alone! Don't you dare beat yourself up for wanting a break sometimes or feeling overwhelmed. My DD os almost 2 and is actually a very good ittle girl. But she also rests the limits and has her tantrums just like any kid her age. Sometimes it just gets hard. I also work part-time but I'm always the first one home and I'm home 2 days during the week (we both have our weekends off). He is a wonderful supportive and caring man and a Great Dad. But I'm still the one who usually has to make dinner, do the dishes, clean the house and do the laundry. o yes it gets overwhelming. Make some time for yourself! Either ask someone to watch your LO or even once she is in bed. Go out! It really helps if you can just get out of the house for a few hours alone. Go get a cup of coffe at a local bookstore or go out for drinks with friends (even just a soda). Remeber you are a full person too, not just Mom! Good luck!
    NHRachel

    Answer by NHRachel at 11:15 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I know how you feel. My son is 20 months old and is starting his terrible two's. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'm with my son ALLLLL the time. I never get any time alone. I'm also 34 weeks pregnant, so I get impatient and stressed out easily. DH comes home from work and helps out as much as he can, but sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind.
    AMZF812

    Answer by AMZF812 at 11:27 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Its completely natural to feel this way. Raising a child is hard work, even without having a job outside the home. There have been times I've broken down crying from being overwhelmed before (although that may have had more to do with the hormones from coming off of my bc...), and there are plenty of times when I just want to go to my husband and say "its YOUR turn now!!!"

    Just remember that it WILL pass, and try to find some way to get your "you" time somehow, even if it just means soaking in the tub (I never realized how much a shower could mean to me until finding time to take one was almost an impossibility, lol).
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 12:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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