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2 Bumps

He comes home and says "I worked all day, why cant you do it?"

Anyone else hear this crap? I always end up mad and annoyed with the entire conversation because guess what buddy, i wake up to my job and go to sleep with it. He gets a lunch break and can pee alone. He does work very hard and i praise him for it! But I work hard AS WELL. He may not think its tiring but it is! All the whinning and fighting and appointments and diapers and crying and busted lips, I deal with em. I also am taking online college classes at night and working out before they get up and after they fall asleep. I always say, I signed up for it all. BUT nobody needs to say I shouldnt be tired. I knew I would be worn out but I also thought the other person that signed up to be a parent would be helping! Anyone else have this problem? How do you handle it without getting really mad??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • It sounds to me that you and your DH need to have a good heart-to-heart discussion on your expectations of each other. The SAH lifestyle doesn't work if both partners aren't on board with the decision. You don't know what he expects of your job. He doesn't know what you expect of him when he gets home. Communicate!

    MomToBeISaMom

    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 11:13 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I make him do the dishes. Usually after that, he'll thank me for cooking, and cleaning, and taking care of the kid. Or I insist on a day off. Leave the kid with him (no instructions, he should know all that, since he's daddy, right?) for a day, and take a "mommy day" to myself. GL!
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 11:13 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I get that for asking my bf to take out the trash with him when he goes over to his friends house down the street. He's going out there anyway, but he gets all defensive and says he will take it out later, but when I tell him to, he says no, and I ALWAYS hear that he shouldn't have to do ANYTHING because he works and pays the rent.....I tell him that even when I worked and took care of our son and house work, he would say the same thing....it's a never ending battle with him! Soo I totally hear ya!!
    Stephernie88

    Answer by Stephernie88 at 11:13 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I know what you mean!!! Been there. I decided it was just easier to do everything myself then be frustrated.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:18 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I think its VERY immature for him to make comments like that. If he truly was your partner in life, he would know that you DO work hard and most days, harder than him.. I'm sorry.. that would be a hard thing for me to deal with - good luck
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:21 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • When my DH was working and I was a full-time stay at home mommy, I didn't expect him to do a damn thing. Taking care of the house was MY JOB and I took pride in it. I also was a PT college student, taking 9 credits, AND I worked PT from home. However my income was not enough to put a roof over my head, that fell solely on my husband's shoulders at the time, for which I was grateful for him working so hard to provide for us and enable me to continue my education. He still pitched in here and there, made dinner, cleaned up the dishes, but I NEVER nagged him about it. Now that we are both working, we distribute the housework evenly and it remains fair.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 11:23 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • A Mommy strike usually works. Only take care of the kids basic needs for one day. Then when he comes home to a mess and no dinner and says what the hell happened here today you just smile sweetly and say that you gave the Nanny, Cook, Housekeeper and Chauffeur the day off. All four of them work really hard 24-7 without extra pay so a day off was needed for their own sanity. That usually gets the point across.

    oldermomof5

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 11:28 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • oldermomof5: :) that made me laugh pretty good, I am going to try that in my own life! I added up the cost of all those services once and gave it to him. He got it for a little while now hes lazy. Guess I need to give myself a raise and give him the written notice :)
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 11:33 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I really have to disagree with suggestions to strike or to make him take care of the kids while you have a day to yourself. It might work for a while, sure, but I don't think it will solve anything. You are both starting to resent each other, and to play games will only worsen the resentment. Communicate!

    MomToBeISaMom

    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 11:33 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I agree about talking. But when talking doesnt have an effect, where do you go from there? You cant allow yourself to be run over.
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 11:36 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

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