Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

finding the courage when you know it is right thing to do

when you are leaving and you have done everything to save the family
you know it is for the best
but some days or moments you feel so sad, so overwhelmed

what can you do to pick yourself up again and get on with the job of moving on
i will be taking our daughter and moving, he does not seem to upset about it, i have a ton of things to do for the move

i need motivation when i am feeling like my heart is breaking, and i know i have to listen to my head

ideas? this time of my life is so sad, i have moments (like now) that i do not want to face what is the obvious and only option of leaving (and knowing he really does not care is killing my drive with sadness in my heart)


Asked by fiatpax at 11:36 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Just keep thinking about your Daughter and the life you want to give her. Since you know this is the best thing use that as a motivator. Like all of us I'm sure you want to give your Girl the absolute best life that you can. Remember that you are stronger than you know! I hope this helps, and Good luck!

    Answer by NHRachel at 11:40 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • The feelings you are having are normal. Counseling can help. If that's not possible then reading self-help books may help. It's much easier if you can kick him out. If you can afford where you are living then that's the way it should be. The kids shouldn't have to move. Don't waste energy thinking about how he feels.


    Answer by Gailll at 11:40 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Make packing goals... 1-3 boxes every day. Finishing those will give you a sense of accomplishment. Have a move out by date in mind so that you know how much longer your heart has to be strong. Stay busy getting your paper work in order. You have too much to do to be sad... get your banking, DMV, address change, everything done now... before you go. Go out with friends whenever you can.... movie night, coffee, happy hour. At least once a week. Hopefully he still take DD days so you can keep it up after you leave.

    Once you get into your new place. If you can afford it, start with some "new" things. For sure new bedding and towels. Buy some candles with a upbeat smell. Citrus or pear... something that will awaken your senses and is different than your old home. Change dryer sheets and decorate in completely your and your daughters taste. Out with the old... in with the new. In as many ways as possible.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 11:57 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I'm so sorry! Why don't you try to find a support group or a mom's group to communicate with? Sometimes the support can help!

    Answer by Pandapanda at 11:37 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Him not caring should be motivation enough..!! Pick your chin up, and do what's best for you and your kids!

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I so feel ya girl, and I feel the same way and I also know its for the best. Hugs

    Answer by Lisa_Lynn at 12:08 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I'm right there with you girl. But I'm still debating if I should leave or not. My heart is set on this family, but it's just not working. I agree with Niki sd just focus on all your tasks and treat yourself to a new life! It will be good, and you'll find happiness. =) Good luck!

    Answer by berrysweetmamma at 12:24 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I went thru this last October. You will have good (easy) days & hard when you have to go to the courthouse & file paperwork (long process). Those were emotionally hard, exhausting & emotional for me. I would call up a friend & talk & cry and get it off my chest. That helps. Also I would tell myself that it is temporary & that every day that passed it would get a little bit easier (it did!) I know that's hard to do though sometimes. I also looked at the alternative. I would be miserable if I stayed in the relationship. I would look to the future & think of my kids & how I didn't want them raised in a house having to see/hear their parents fighting.
    Good luck, it's hard but it WILL get easier!

    Answer by cheekycherub at 2:25 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I was like that when I left, but you just have to know that it's for the best and you will get through it. I made sure I had the means (got a credit card in my own name before I left) and found a place to live, etc. so I wasn't dependent on anyone else. It's hard to think of what you're doing to your kids by tearing the family apart, but I just had to believe that my kids would one day understand (and they have, it's been 8 years and once the initial sadness was behind us, we're all very strong now). You can do it, you just have to push yourself and know that you're doing what's best for you and your child. You can't live in an unhappy environment for the rest of your life, that's not good for your baby. Good luck with everything!! ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

    Answer by KimPippin at 7:57 PM on Sep. 14, 2010