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What is fair?

My husband came out to me 2 months ago after 11 years of marriage & 2 kids. I have made plans to move to my home state and raise my kids and he is fine with it. We will be getting a divorce within the next couple of months.

However...I told him I need to save my $$ (I make $1500 per month) if I'm going to be moving and starting over to have money saved to support myself and the kids. He on the other hand thinks I should pay him at least $600 a month to live here and help pay bills and the mortgage.

If I save my money, I can have 4500 saved before I move and completely start over...if I give him money, I would only have like 3000 saved.

If it makes a difference we planned to move before he told me this. Im not moving because he told me he's gay. I'm moving b/c it was the plan to begin with and that's where my family and friends are. He's being an ass and acting like he doesnt want to do anything with his kids

What's fair?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Move right now!!! if you have a job where you are moving to, go! start over with your kids...if he doesn't want anything to do with them, it's best for them to be out of that situation right away...and I think we answered this question yesterday, and were a little harsh, thank you for clarifying some things

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 11:52 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I think these are things that will be worked out through the divorce lawyers, no?

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 11:54 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I think it's fair to continue doing whatever you were doing beforehand. In the state I live in, you split things 50/50. Joint checking and joint savings is divided 50/50, regardless of who earned the money. If you have a joint checking and savings, and can take 1/2 the money and move, do that. You should; however, get your ducks in a row first. File for legal separation, so that your money is yours and his money is his. File for temporary orders; i.e., custody, parenting time, child support, spousal support. Every state is different, so I'm basing my information on what I know.

    If you do not have joint checking accounts, and you each pay certain bills or whatever, I think you need to continue to pay your share while you live there. If it were me, I would still file the paperwork for the temporary orders to protect myself and my children.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 12:25 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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