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My 6 year old doesn't want to go to school?

I don't know what to do. He is my only child. He attends the local public school. Kindergarten was rough for us (we both had a lot of anxiety separation) but now it seems worse... he hates 1st grade. He cries in the morning and sobbingly says he doesn't like it and the day takes to long to end but i don't know if something else is wrong that he is not telling me. Could he be scared? bored? could he be having problems socially adapting?

Where do I stand with the school? I do not want to send my son somewhere he doesn't want to be. Isn't it the school's responsibility to make school a place a child desires to be at.

I don't know where to go for help and I don't know if maybe I'm acting paranoid and naive.

What should I ask my son? What should I ask his teacher?

Answer Question

Asked by smilingontime at 11:52 AM on Sep. 14, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (57 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Is homeschooling a possibility for you guys? Maybe that'd be easier on him.

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 11:54 AM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Have you sat down and talked to him about why he doesn't like school (other than the fact that it takes too long to get to the end of the day)? My son gave me that same answer not all that long ago about not wanting to go to school. I have 3 kids (10, 7 and 2) and it is my 7 year old who baulks about school. He has a harder time separating from me than my daughter. I also know that when my son is AT school, he has a good time and plays with the other kids and does his work. A lot of what they do is for show just for you. My son started pre-school 2 days a week for just a couple of hrs in the moring just to keep his anxiety in check about being away from me. He pulled the same stuff at pre-school and his teachers reassured me that he was fine about 5 minutes after walking in the door. If you go to homeschooling now, I think it will just reinforce to him that he is in control. I would reassure him that you will ..cont..

    Answer by MinnieMagic at 12:03 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Set up a meeting with the teacher and go over the things you have said here. Ask for her ideas on what can be done to help him. Get the school psychologist involved if need be. There are resources to help you with this. Good luck.

    Answer by elizabr at 12:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • right there after school and you can spend time together then. You can also talk to his teachers. See how he is actually doing while there. Here is a suggestion that worked for my son. I told him if he could have a few good days in a row of not crying and going to school to have a good time, then I would come have lunch with him. But, I told him that he had to stay at school after lunch when I left to go home and that if he couldn't do it without crying, I wouldn't be able to come have lunch with him any more. Also, you can do this with going to help out in the classroom. I did both and it worked great for my son!

    Answer by MinnieMagic at 12:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Call the reacher and tell her everything. In kindergarten, my daughter cried every morning for the first 2 months. I talked to her teacher many times and she assured me that she was fine in school. You can talk to the principal too. Believe me, they want to help and you will feel better after. Good luck mommy!

    Answer by mompam at 12:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I would call the teacher and ask if he is having any problems there. I would also talk to my son, and ask if that he missed me was the only problem he had at school. If the only problem is he misses you, if you pack his lunch, maybe include a little sticker or note or something to let him know you are thinking of him too. With my son, at one point I cut his sandwich into shapes. Then he would look forward to that part of the day to see what shape he got. I also made it a point, to sit down and spend a little time with him when he got home from school in the afternoon. Kind of reconnecting, that all seemed to help!

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Teacher here: OK I could type a book on I will try to make sense with this b/c I have so many ideas. lol

    First question: how is is work, Excellent, moderate, lower? Is he reading well, makes friends? If you dont know these things ask the teacher...these are what I would base my decision on.

    IF he is struggling with work, friends, getting through the day...he may just be immature and need another year of Kindergarten to help him out. I am a HUGE fan of this!!!!

    Another huge point....he may have separation issues...but ask yourself...are you helping him or harming him by your reaction to his problem? Do you comfort him and feel "sorry" for him. Or do you display excitement for his school and his work and his achievements? Your attitude can DRAMATICALLY affect his behavior...maybe not stop it...but help it :)

    To a certain extent it is the schools job to provide a nice comfortable atmosphere...cont....

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 12:25 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • But the job also is yours and your sons as bring things to the table too :)

    TALK TO HIS TEACHER TODAY!!!! You need to know how he is doing while he is at school. He may be showing no issues at all while at school. He may be doing GREAT!!!! If this is the case, then he is playing YOU mom...know what I mean.

    Hope all this came out But really, start with talking to his teacher to find out what is going on at school. Chances are...if she has not contacted you with any problems, then he is doing fine.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 12:27 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • call the teacher and see what her/his take is on this. He may be just fine all day long in the classroom and just starts the I hate school thing when he gets home.
    He maybe getting picked on by a bully
    You need to get better answers from him other than the day is too long
    is he struggling in school? how is his work/grades.
    How is your attitude toward school and his leaving you for the day/ Are you up beat and happy about his going to school? or are you holding him and crying and telling him how much you missed him? you need to make sure you are postive about school and him going there, it will be contagious.
    I used to put a fun note in my sons lunches for the first week of school. We would celebrate the first day and the last day of school.
    He may have a learning disorder like dislexia or maybe he needs glasses, it could really be something very simple
    stay strong, call the teacher and be positive for him good luck

    Answer by justgrape723 at 12:59 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Have a meeting with the teacher and talk to them about what he is saying and acting. They may have an answer for you about what to do.

    Answer by sstepph at 8:53 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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