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What would you do if your 16 year old son came up to you and said that he wanted to be a girl? He says he has thought about it for awhile and has thought this to be the right choice for over a year now but was afraid to tell you or embarrassed to tell you. What would your initial reaction be? What would your reaction be if it was your 16 year old daughter who said she wanted to be a boy?

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Asked by purpleducky at 12:12 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 21 (11,829 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I would probably go to a professional and ask for advice. I would tell them I love them and I dont have any answers but we will find some answers together.

    Answer by ria7 at 12:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • and I would cry alot behind closed doors

    Answer by ria7 at 12:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I dont think this is a question anyone can answer with certainty until they have actually experienced it themselves. I would HOPE that I could be supportive of their decision and I know that I would love them regardless and not make them miserable over their feelings. Sorry I cant give a better answer.

    Answer by Tiannas_Momma at 12:19 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I would tell them that I loved them regardless of what their final decision was, and I would talk to them about why they felt the way that they did. I would also tell them that I felt like before we did anything else, that we needed to get them in some counseling to help determine why they felt this way, and to make sure it was truly what they wanted. I would also tell them, that if when they turned 18 they still felt that way I would completely support them. And, the only reason I would say 18 is this, if at some point in their life they felt like that decision was a mistake, I would not want them to ask why I let them do it. That is the same reason I would take them to counseling. I would want them to know it was not something I was taking lightly, but that regardless of what they chose that I would be there for them. And I would react the same whether it was a son or daughter.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:27 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I would think I would be hurt, but I would have to deal with it and help them move on...

    This is my kid we are talking about it would be very hard, but I love them no matter what...

    Boy or Girl, gay or lesbian, bi-sexual, trans or what I don't care, I still will love my kids for ever and what ever makes them happy agree or disagree makes me happy....

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:29 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I'm sure I would cry, but then I would do what I could to make my son happy- not sure what steps you take after something like that, but I would help him and support him along the way..... I'd also know that we must have a great relationship if he felt comfortable to come to me with something like that

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:34 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Environment controls gender. For the nearly 70 years that I have been studying these issues I have heard debates about whether it is our genes or our environment that controls our gender and sexual choices. The fact of the matter is that both our genes and our environment are major players in the way in which our gender identity is expressed. Any psychologist or teacher who has worked with disturbed children can tell you story after story of ways in which student behavior is expressed as a reaction to environmental pressures. Children who grow up in abusive homes tend to be abusive themselves. Children who grow up in homes with alcoholism have a tendency to become alcoholics at a rate that is significantly higher than their peers. Most homosexuals have suffered abuse in their childhoods, a fact that anyone who has worked with homosexuals sees over and over again, but which has also been documented in numerous studies.


    Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 12:36 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • All data supports these statements, and few activists would deny them. What people do seem to want to argue is the converse of these statements--that children that grow up in stable loving homes tend to be stable and loving in setting up their own homes. The difficulty here is that an outsider may not know what goes on within the walls of a home when no outside observer is available. When the Bible sets the home as the basis for establishing the roles of its members, the frame of reference is positive--the father, mother, and children have responsibilities that guarantee the child will have a good self image, with confidence and direction that can support him in the trials of life.

    Answer by MAKEMYDAY101 at 12:36 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I think we'd have a very long discussion about this. But I would not consent to any surgery or anything like that until he or she is at least 18 or better yet, older. A s16 year old still has a lot of learning to do about life and themselves in general.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 12:40 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Makemyday - this has nothing to do with homosexuality. It is about transgenderism. And it, like homosexuality, has been shown to be caused by brain structures and hormone levels. Plus I have never read a reputable study stating that homosexuality and transgenderism is due to a poor home environment and I am studying to become a therapist.

    Comment by purpleducky (original poster) at 12:40 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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