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How can I convince my sister that the boy she wants to marry is a complete deadbeat?

He's just horrible. Manipulating, living in his car, from part time job to part time job, he's estranged her from our family and she refuses to take our advice. It's impossible, isn't it? I'm just going to have to let her do it, aren't I?

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BarbaraAnn22

Asked by BarbaraAnn22 at 1:07 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • You sure are. When people are in love they refuse to hear the bad things. Good Luck.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:08 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • all you can do is say what your going to say, and know that you did everything you could. you can't control someone from doing stupid stuff....hope everything works out...keep praying if it's your thing as well...it helps me in those situations.
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 1:09 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • yep I've been there..Thankfully now it's been 6 years later and she's left him. Now that her credit's shot and has a bad record from all the domestic violence between them. Now she says I should have listened.. You can't tell them sadly they figure out too late..Maybe your sister will be a different case

    bizima4

    Answer by bizima4 at 1:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • good luck. if she's in love with him, no matter what you say it will be wrong. you don't know him... you don't see the good side of him. even if you showed her photographic evidence she's very likely to not see it. and as sad as it is, she might just have to learn from experience. who knows, maybe he'll change. (i'm an optimist)
    Hollea

    Answer by Hollea at 1:14 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • it's nice that you are trying to save her from making a big mistake but she's going to do what she wants especially if she's in love. unfortunately, you have to just wait and see what happens. she will have made her own bed and she'll have to lye in it. hopefully the good that will come out of the mistake is that she learns a lesson. oh and i would be careful about how negative you are towards your potential BIL because that will only push her away farther. best of luck!
    pmg1030

    Answer by pmg1030 at 1:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • She is so lucky that you care and will probably be there to help if/when she ever chnages her mind. I wish you all the best
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:22 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • She will just have to marry him, and got through the pain, of divorce and bullshit till she gets a little smarter, you can not make people do something they do not want to do. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink!
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 1:22 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yes you are..I know thats not what you wanted to hear.But with that said ,keep tabs on her, always keep your arms open for that hug she will need. They say love is blind but they never said it makes you stupid..If you see that she is being abused,then by all means don't stop till you get her home..sometimes when you say stay away and bad things abut him it just makes her want him more..Try and be both of there friends,so that she thinks someone understand and she has someone too turn to..I know that is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever do..But it will pay off in the long run,when she kicks that looser to the curb..They say you have to hit rock bottom before your eyes will open..But then she will know she has you to give her a hug and love that she didnt get from the looser..Good Luck..
    pitacc

    Answer by pitacc at 1:24 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • if she's anything like my sister, it's like trying to make a pig fly. impossible. you just have to say what you wanna say, then let her take it or leave it. she'll learn on her own time, hopefully sooner than later. everyone in the family has told her over and over and over and over and over and over about her boyfriend, until we finally just decided to stop wasting our breath, apparently she's willing to learn on her own. she's finally broke up with him, but they're still friends and see each other basically every day. hhmmm...wonder how THAT works. gggrr
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 1:31 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • You cant. Noone ever sees something untill they are ready! Let her see it on her own!
    tiger_tatted1

    Answer by tiger_tatted1 at 1:34 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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