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Just consequences or lecturing too?

Our 7 1/2 year old acts up at school because he loves attention (any attention!)...so he does the same sort of stuff constantly to get in trouble...we've spent so much time TALKING about it with him and frankly I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over....at this age is a consistent consequence for bad behavior enough if it's always the same type of thing? Would you lay off the lecturing at this point? Most of his behavior is just silly/annoying stuff not violent or anything like that....

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stepmom929

Asked by stepmom929 at 2:50 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 12 (920 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • If it's at school then it is the school's problem.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:01 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • TEACHER HERE!!!!!! NO WAY GAILLLLL that is a good way to undmine the authority of the school and let a kid get out of control! Geeesh! Parents have to work hand in hand with schools so they can BOTH produce wonderful humans!

    OP: I would keep consequences and possibly make them stronger! I would lay off the lecturing but let him know quickly and efficiently that what he is doing is NOT ok and that he will continue to get worse consequences if he can not control his behavior!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 3:20 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Don't worry mom2, I definitely agree with you. Somehow Gailll always manages to answer my questions with exactly the kind of response I am NOT looking for.

    We have a meeting with his teacher tomorrow...I really honestly feel like we are doing everything we can on our end at home...do you have any suggestions for ideas that his teacher could use to try to discipline him right at the moment he is acting up? All we can come up with is taking him out of the situation (making him sit alone, etc..) but I hate the thought of him being separated from the class...
    stepmom929

    Comment by stepmom929 (original poster) at 4:36 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • The consequences need to be larger, and the talk needs to be taken down to a question such as "what is the rule?" (let child tell you what they did wrong) and and enforce the consequence. (those big long lectures are GIVING attention - lots of attention - and take your energy too! ) And yes, a consistent consequence is good, but if it's not stopping the behavior then it's simply not enough ... increase the stakes, up the consequence until you find the level that stops the negative behavior.
    If my children misbehave at school, they get punished twice. They get whatever consequence the school chooses to enforce and then they get whatever consequence I choose to place on them as well.
    Gaccck

    Answer by Gaccck at 5:44 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Talk to the teacher.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 8:52 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • It shouldn't be the teachers responsibility to have rules set in place for a child that will not mind. It distracts from the other children that are trying to learn. I had this problem with my dd's class last year and it really upset me to see one child out of 20 disrupt a class of children that were trying to learn...why should a teacher take out any time to discipline a child over and over again? I know that children sometimes have behavioral issues but all the time? Forget the lecturing and start having actions in place for this child...I remember my 20 year old acting up in class when he was younger. I took my butt up to that school and laid rules in place for him to follow...he knew I meant business and from that day forward, I didn't have a problem with him trying to show off for his class.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:59 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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