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3 Bumps

I want another baby...

My SO and I have been together for almost a year...I know he is the man I will spend the rest of my life with, we just aren't married...marriage is not that important to me or him...I have a son with a another man who is almost 2, and my SO treats him like he is his own, and I want SOOO much to have a baby with him... I absolutely LOVE being a mom... how should I bring this up to him? We have talked about having more kids someday, but I am ready now..

 
BradensMom1026

Asked by BradensMom1026 at 3:05 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,603 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I agree, Susan, that COMMITTMENT is important, but MARRIAGE isn't what keeps people together... their level of committment does. You don't need a piece of paper to be committed to each other. No need to drag the law into it if you don't want to. My parents weren't married until I was 8 and I can tell you honestly it made no difference to me that they got married because they were COMMITTED well before that.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:13 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • "Honey, what do you think about having a child together?" In my opinion if it isn't something you can talk about, then it isn't something you should be doing.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 3:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Marriage is important. It is what keeps you together when times are rough. I think it is important to children too. At one time maybe you thought you would be with your son's father. Maybe a talk about commitment is more important right now.
    SUSAN81900

    Answer by SUSAN81900 at 3:10 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Just be honest and straight forward. Do it when your baby is asleep or have someone else watch him so you two can discuss this with no distractions.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:06 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Here's what I always said to my husband when I was ready for another baby. "Love, I'm ready to have a baby. How do you feel about it?" We have always had very open communication about our family plans, though. We both knew we wanted kids before we were even officially together, and it has always been easy to talk to him about family planning.

    Good luck.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:08 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Just tell him.

    If this is the man you believe/feel that you will and want to, spend the rest of your life with (regardless of marriage or not).. Then this is the man , the person, that you should be able to honestly, safely, openly and comfortably tell anything and everything in the world to. You should be able to tell him your deepest needs, your deepest desires, your deepest wants..etc.. So ........Just tell him how you honestly feel, what you honestly, want..etc.

    He will either be on the same page as you, or he won't.. Either way. You will not know where he stands until you talk to him about this. And, either way, you will know where you stand and have a better view/understanding of what BOTH of you see in your future together.

    Godd luck..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:15 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I sort of agree with SUSAN. In my opinion, which I realize is not always the same for others, I believe marriage is important. To me it seems people are more willing to work on problems when they are married then just walk away from them. Might be a thought before you have another child. But to each their own.
    moviemom22

    Answer by moviemom22 at 3:16 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Just be open and honest. Maybe ask him when he thinks he will be ready, because you're ready.
    laura7485

    Answer by laura7485 at 3:25 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • i agree with susan. your protected through marriage should he one day decide he doesn't want to be with you. i would also want to set the example. i wouldn't want my kids seeing me just live with someone. i would also think that they might think don't they love each other to marry. showing that kind of commitment truly counts especially when you work to make the marriage work rather then giving up on it. also i wonder why it's hard for you just to state hey i want to have a baby. i could say that to my hubby while folding laundry.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:38 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • If you are having a hard time figuring out how to talk to him about it...then you are not ready.

    Dont jump into another baby too quickly. Let this relationship be VERY settled before you start that!! There is plenty of time!! To me, almost a year is not long enough!!!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 3:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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