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ok, my son was invited to one of his classmates' birthday parties..... should i let him go?

my son is in kindergarten and he brought home an invitation to go to a birthday party for one of the girls in his class. i didn't tell him about it yet lol. it's supposed to be at some kind of indoor soccer place i guess. this is my oldest kid so i don't have any experience with these things lol. they haven't even been going to school a month.... i doubt that they're really great friends or anything (he never talked about her). would i be mean if i didn't let him go?


Asked by princessbeth79 at 3:49 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (26)
  • My kids don't go to every party they are invited to, even if they are good friends with the kid. A lot of the parties they've been invited to are too far away for me to get them there (I don't have a car and my husband works). And we usually don't have the money for a gift. Actually my 10yo just went to a sleepover party last weekend. Her friend (who lives a few houses down and is in her class) invited her Friday morning and the party was Saturday night. She went with no card and no gift because we didn't have the money for either. Oh well. I guess they had fun. I don't have a problem dropping my kids off, though. My only worry is that they won't behave up to my expectations.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:57 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • The Anon answer wasn't rude. And of course you have "the right" to interpret it any way you 'd like. Is it serving you well to assume that the advice that was offered was somehow rude? No? No, I wouldn't think so.

    There is no reason not to allow him to go to a classmates party, unless you somehow feel the need to isolate him from other children and have him on the outskirts of the friendships formed in early childhood. You do have that "right" as well.

    And yes, you have "the right" to keep your son from doing normal kid things, based on the excuse "I have other children to care for". It's terribly unfair to your oldest, but you unequivocally have "the right" to do this.


    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 5:23 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Any reason why he shouldn't go? Has he not been taught to behave himself as well as the other children can?

    And I never take one child to an event that the other child has been invited to either - so why can't you take the invited child to the event and then go run errands or do the grocery shopping with the uninvited child? Indoor soccer arenas are staffed - and so are the parties. If you have any question about the necessity of staying, why not contact the parent hosting the party?

    As for gifts, I usually purchase something for about $10.

    I think it would be a bad decision not to allow him to go.

    Answer by 3boysandmekmcd at 5:29 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I have 4 children, ages 8, 6, 5, and 4 ... and I cannot even imagine not allowing one to attend a party because of their siblings. However, I would not bring the siblings along - I find that not only very rude to the party-thrower (and a probably financial concern as well), but also terribly unfair to the child. The child invited to the party should be allowed to play with his/her friends without the siblings tagging along. They're individuals, not a package deal.

    Answer by Gaccck at 5:33 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • You should definitely tell him about it and ask him if he wants to go. This is how the whole social scene begins!

    Answer by ceallaigh at 3:51 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I always let my girls go.. but I stay there just to supervise. Some parents expect the kids' parents to stay..

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:51 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yes I would. It would be fun for him.

    Answer by Raeann11 at 3:52 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • They are forming friendships at this point. If you don't let him go and the others in the class do, they will definitely notice. It sounds like it is early for this kind of thing but it really isn't. They may start to leave him out and consider him not part of the friendship circle. Also, the other kids may not invite him to other functions they have. Your son will definitely feel bad when he finds out that they are all going and he isn't. They WILL talk about it at school, it may be after the fact, but you will have some really hurt feelings. Unless you know this family isn't safe, or your child will be in danger and unsupervised, I'd definitely think twice about not letting him go. It all starts in Kindergarten.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 3:52 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Why wouldn't you want him to go? I wouldn't want my child to be left out. It will definitely come back and bite you in the butt later. I hope you know, you will also be expected to have a birthday party for his classmates/friends when its his too. Might as well let him go unless there is a really good reason not to. You might really regret it if you don't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I spend around $20 on gifts. Just bring your other kids with you. There will be other kids there. They won't participate in the party, but I'm sure it's kid friendly. It's a great chance for you to meet the other mothers. This is just the first of many birthday parties!

    Answer by mompam at 4:01 PM on Sep. 14, 2010