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My best friend is being beat by her husband. Two kids. Afraid to run. Need help ASAP

My best friend is in a horrible situation. She fell for a guy when she was 15, he got her pregnant. He was 22. During the pregnancy, someone from the state called her, and told her that her boyfriend was a convicted child molester- he raped his sister when she was under age. And since he got her pregnant, he was going to prision. Scared, and torn- her mother told her to marry him to keep him out of jail. So they went to Idaho and married.
Since then, he has beaten her, and abused her emotionally. She is now 18, and just gave birth two their second child. Today he hit her, and hurt her so bad she tried screaming for help- he covered her mouth to where she couldnt breath, and smacked her head on the footboard of the bed..
She is terrified. Her land lord is unsympathetic and told her today "I cant keep listening to your fights, im evicting you".
I told her to call DHS for help. But she is unwilling to go 2 a shelter.

 
stenhouse_baby

Asked by stenhouse_baby at 5:57 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,255 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • call 1800-799-7233 to find a domestic violence agency close to her. she has more options than just a shelter. she's scared, and rightfully so, and a shelter probably sounds even more terrifying. tell her she's not alone, and what he is doing is wrong. let her know she has options, they are difficult choices, but if she's strong enough to survive, she's strong enough to get out. best of luck to her.

    rfurlongg

    Answer by rfurlongg at 6:02 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • You don't want to hear this... If she doesn't WANT to leave, she won't. She has to WANT to leave first. And the first point to that is knowing she has a reason to leave. Many women stay because they believe it's better for her to stay and at least have a roof than it is for her to get out and risk homelessness or something else. The woman really needs a support system, she needs to know someone cares and that someone will help her. She also needs to be involving the police... If she doesn't involve the police and decides to leave she still risks loosing her children. Her best option at this point is to get out, go to a shelter or even catch a bus to someone's home... Even if it means going without the kids for the moment... Once she is safe, she can start to fight back... But she really needs to want it, because it's a fight, trust me! It's a fight every moment of every day, but she CAN get away and CAN make life better!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:07 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • She needs a good support system...including family and friends...tell her to start documenting everything...maybe you could even help her out by documenting for her each time she calls you and tells you about these horrible things. I'm so sorry for her :(
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 6:00 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Shelters are not as bad as she thinks. She would be safe. The next time she could be dead.
    Mommy2Gabrielle

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 6:01 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • BTW the shelter doesn't separate mothers from their children in crisis.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:37 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Her husband just took her liscense away, and took her off the insurance. She has no form of transportation.. Her family is not willing to help her. I don't know what to do... She is isolated in a city 45 min away from everyone she knows. We live in Oregon, and she currently has a DHS case worker, whom she is on the phone to. Any suggestions?
    stenhouse_baby

    Comment by stenhouse_baby (original poster) at 5:59 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Right now, I'm the only one who will help. Her dad told her its her own fault he beats her. She has been calling the police every time he beats her, they have been very good about filing police reports each time.
    stenhouse_baby

    Comment by stenhouse_baby (original poster) at 6:01 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • My sister was abused for 14 years until she had enough. I've learned that you can not tell someone what to do, they need to make the decision themselves. I got my sis out of the relationship after the first year, she went back and endured another 13 years until she was ready to leave herself.
    Sometimes, all you can do it be there and pray.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:16 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Can't you arrange to go and get her and the kids? Then with you by her side, maybe she will call that 1 800 number and get help! The lady above me said it right! If she is strong enough to survive what he has done to her, then she is stronger than what she realizes! With your help and some good planning, there will be a good out come!!

    God bless
    MomlovesRed

    Answer by MomlovesRed at 6:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I am totally willing to go get her and take her any where. I would love to have her here, but I share a house with other people, and honestly have no room for them. I am telling her all of this information, she doesnt have internet. I told her the shelter idea, but she is too afriad- she said they would seperate her from the kids and take her phone away.
    stenhouse_baby

    Comment by stenhouse_baby (original poster) at 6:35 PM on Sep. 14, 2010