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Do you think having kids puts a strain on marriages?

I have one 2 1/2 yr old and now have a 2 month old baby and i would say that since our 2 yr old has been acting up like really bad it is making me fall apart from my hubby and my hubby has said things like man i wonder what it would be like if i didnt have kids and a wife... i'd probably be in the marines... it makes me feel like he isnt happy with where he is and truthfully niether am I. I love my kids so much but my 2 yr old is testing me to the limits and it is so hard right now with everythign

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I think it depends on the marriage. Having kids too soon put a strain on our marriage. We had only been married 2 months when I got Pregnant. Truthfully the money, or lack there of, was what really out the strain on though.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • It does put a strain on your marriage. When I get upset with dd, my dh gets a lot more frustrated with her than he has right too. Then I get mad at him for getting upset, and the cycle begins to spin out of control. Kids make things fun, messy, and unpredictable. Most adults like the fun, but let's face it we REALLY don't like messy OR unpredictable. Children are a wonderful way to help us step out of our comfort zones and cut a new course, even if it is harder than we expected.
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 6:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • been there still kinda there i have 4 yr old and 19 month old
    navywifemomkoch

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 6:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Having kids CHANGES a marriage, if it doesn't, then yes, it will strain a marriage. But when you have children you go from being a couple to a family, if your marriage doesn't change in order to make that transition there is going to be issues...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:20 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • It's ok to have those fantasies about "what if", but he sure picked a bad time to say them out loud! Sure it's challenging- esp. trying to get some alone time w/ your spouse ( or having the energy for the alone time!) But I believe if you still show him (*& the kids) that your spouse is #1 it will enrich the marriage. If you let the kids overrun the marriage, then you are at risk for a strained relationship. (I'm not saying be like June Cleaver- but maybe a 2010 version of her! :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:29 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yes it can, especially when they hit their teens.

    A man just wants to come home from work to a peaceful home.

    And we women want him to fix the kids. LOL
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 6:45 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yes, because its a change. Having a child is a huge change in any life. But those are necessary tests to a marriage, and ultimately helps develop you into a better person(hopefully), a parent.
    stenhouse_baby

    Answer by stenhouse_baby at 6:46 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I think it amplifies whatever issues were there before. It is just all kinds of added stress. Well, that and issues come up because parenting styles and opinions differ.
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 6:47 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yes, it does.
    Gaccck

    Answer by Gaccck at 7:36 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • It depends on the marriage. With my first husband/DD's bio father, it was one of the many reasons we divorced. however, with my BF now, DD is one of the reasons we are do close.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 8:17 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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