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11 Bumps

Not wanting to have sex.

Is there any other ladies out there who feel like their SO wants to have sex like everyday, but you have no drive to have sex? This is how I feel in my relationship. My SO thinks that I don't want anything to do with him because I always "reject" him whenever he tries to do anything with me. Does anyone else feel like they are always rejecting their hubby for sex?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • yes & I don't know why either
    bmwlover

    Answer by bmwlover at 9:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yeah me either. The only thing that I can figure to blame would be stress. I spend so much time stressed out and worried about stuff that having sex is the last thing that I want to do. Men are different though, if they are feeling stressed out then having sex relaxes them. I am the opposite. I don't want to have sex unless I know that it's going to be the only thing on my mind. And since I'm worried all the time, it often never is. :(
    sugaree

    Answer by sugaree at 9:09 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • well, i sympathize with your husband. for me it's the exact opposite and let me tell you it hurts to be rejected by your spouse. it makes me feel ugly, gross and unloved :((
    you need to explain to him that you don't have a desire anymore, but more importantly you need to think about what it is that is decreasing your sex drive. too much stress? low self-esteem? find the problem and work on fixing it. that will make you and hubby feel better and improve your relationship
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • yes, i always do. i have no drive. he can sit there and do everything he can to get me in the mood, and it won't work. recently, however, a few months ago i started geting in the mood once a month, when i'm ovulating. it's not strong either, i can miss it if i'm not paying attention. and if i don't have the time...poor hubby. he misses out that month. i can totally go without, but when i know i'm in the mood i try to be intimate with him, so he's not feeling rejected.
    before that, though, he was always feeling rejected and asking if i really still did love him. i felt so bad!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yeah me either. The only thing that I can figure to blame would be stress. I spend so much time stressed out and worried about stuff that having sex is the last thing that I want to do. Men are different though, if they are feeling stressed out then having sex relaxes them. I am the opposite. I don't want to have sex unless I know that it's going to be the only thing on my mind. And since I'm worried all the time, it often never is. :(

    Exactly know what you mean! if I'm stressed, tired, worn out from everything, and he is as well. so his idea would be to have sex. that doesn't work for me. i'm not "into" it when i've got a bagizillion things on my mind.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Yup. My husband wants it constantly and I just have no desire. I've told him I just have no sex drive right now, idk why either. He doesn't get mad or upset, either.
    PoisonousBlonde

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 9:35 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • actually for me it's the opposite away around..he is always rejecting me unless i just do something and then he can't refuse b/c then he can't go to sleep til something is done...
    sweet_mamaof3

    Answer by sweet_mamaof3 at 9:36 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I went through a period of depression around 11 years ago... that's the only time I have felt a "decreased (non-existant) labido".... Once I recovered that also recovered.
    But.. since I hit 30 (I recently turned 36) I have been a complete freak!! I can't get enough of it!!!
    Anyway.. I've been there... whether it's due to depression or not... either way.. just know that any phase we are in is never permanent and I hope it works out for you! :)
    FeelinYummy

    Answer by FeelinYummy at 9:37 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I feel like that too, Sometimes. But for the most part, I just let him hurry up so I can get to bed., LOL!
    eluc

    Answer by eluc at 10:34 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • When I was on the depo shot, I had no drive. He was lucky to get it once a week, and I felt horrible for rejecting him. Once in a blue moon I would get really in the mood and he might have gotten it twice that week. I've been off the shot, and am on no other form of BC, and my drive isn't really high (like I don't crave it everyday) but it's definitely much higher than it used to be. I rarely reject him anymore. Maybe that's it for you...or I notice that when I'm feeling pudgy or down about work, I'm not that into it either....
    dlandrum

    Answer by dlandrum at 12:45 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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