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Anyone out there who has been in the same situation/could please tell me it gets better? Grieving is too hard.

I recently lost my husband & I'm pregnant and we have children together but I barely feel I can be adequate mother these days, they're grieving, I'm grieving, everything's falling apart and I can't do it anymore.

I don't know what to do. Anyone been through it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I have not been through it. I would reach out to family as much as possible. My best friend died, and when she did my parents basically moved me into their home for a year....they literally packed my house up one day (I was already in the packing process) and moved me home. I would also advise any kind of counseling you and your children could get into. Get on meds if necessary. The only thing that will help is time, the first year is going to be the worst. There's no sugar coating it, it's going to be hard. But if you need to ask your mom or someone to be there a lot, ask!!!! Or discuss what options you have with what help can be given.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:21 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • First off I am very sorry for your loss. ♥hugs♥

    I cannot say I have been there, done that..but I pray you can find a close friend or family member, even a church friend and reach out to them and ask for help. Ask them to help you find a grief counselor.

    I agree with 2blondebabies............. and stay strong for your babies as they need you now as you need them! Get all the HUGGY LOVES ( hugs as I call them!! ) from your babies as you can!

    You can do it hun......stay strong and please speak to some one......if you can't or don't know anyone... ask me and I will do what I can from where I am ( in FLA ) I have free long distance and anything to know. I may not be able to do much from here......but if I can contact some one for you and lead them to you for you to speak to.....its a little something I can do........its a step to the healing process which will take time.

    You can do it! Stay strong Momma!

    Answer by LilyPondOasis at 9:29 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I haven't been through it myself, but my uncle died when he was 40, & left my aunt with 4 small children. I think there were 2 things that got her through, support from her church, & the fact that her children needed her so much.

    3 years ago 2 women close to me lost their husbands weeks apart, coincidentally both to lung cancer. They're both relatively young. One has managed to move on. She was madly in love with her husband, but knew that had it been the other way around she would want him to go on & have a good life, & she has slowly rebuilt her life. She's reached out for support & still has rough days, but she appreciates every day she has now in a whole different way. I can't tell you how much I admire her. The other woman who's been a close friend of mine for 30 yrs has fallen apart.

    I'm so sorry this has happened to you. See if you can find a support group for wives who've lost their husbands my heart is with you.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:38 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • My condolences on your loss. Don't grieve alone. Have the family and your friends help you through this. We're here for you as well.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:50 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I have never been in your situation, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I would recommend leaning on your loved ones as much as possible, counseling and support groups. It won't always be easy but you CAN get through this!!!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:37 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • So sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. Pull on your support system so you dont feel alone.

    Answer by socialworker227 at 10:51 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your loss, it's must be a terrible heart ache for you and your children. I lost a child and I thought I wanted to just die w/her, there was just no reason for me to live, she was young I wasn't. I had 3 yrs of very heavy therapy, the best thing you can do right now is GET THERAPY. There are also Support Groups out there and they are also helpful, they discuss what your going thru w/women in the same situation.The one thing our DD did leave us to cherish, was her son, and that's what I live for, a PART of her that I do have. Try to cherish the children as being a part of the man that you loved so much and you still have that part of him forever. There is no doubt you have hard days ahead of you, but also try to lean on any of the friends that are willing to help you, don't try to do it all yurself. Family and friends are very important now. Again I'm so sorry for your loss and heartache.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 11:10 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I have never been through anything like that but I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 11:31 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I will be sure to keep you and yours in my thoughts. All I can suggest is ask for help. Be strong. Again, I am so sorry.

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 8:37 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss!!!! I lost my mom when my son was three. He never really had a gramma. Just comfort each other and remember all the good times. I miss her and it is hard when I see people with their moms and grammas. My heart goes out to u. May I ask,How he dies??? U can message me please.

    Answer by dancer at 11:18 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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