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Is is fair to expect my husband to help me clean?

i know he is the breadwinner but i still work hard and am exhausted at the end of the day.

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ruby_diamond43

Asked by ruby_diamond43 at 9:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (191 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think it's more fair to expect it if you discussed it before you got married. What exactly did you expect from him then? Did you tell him then? If not, fair or not it's possible but not probable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Unless he agreed before the marriage that he would help you clean, then it is unfair for you to expect it of him. Most men marry with the expectation that they will be the breadwinner and the wife will take care of the home. If the two of you had an agreement, then it is not unfair for you to expect him to keep his end of the bargain. I will tell you that expectations are marriage killers. You would be better off to leave some things undone than to argue with your husand about who should do them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:22 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I never had any expectation on my husband helping me at home. We have each other roles.


    I have gone on strike once in while. Big Grin  Tongue3

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:29 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Well....if you are a SAHM and he works a full time job, MAYBE. What I mean by that is, he should be able to clean up after himself....as in put a dish in the dishwasher (if you have and use one) or throw his garbage away, not leave it sit around. Put his dirty clothes where they belong. Those sort of things. But to vacuum, dust, scrub, etc....I would have to say no. If you are home all day you should be doing it when you have the energy and time. If he is getting on your case about it, then you should come up with a solution, like do it together on the weekends.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:30 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I don't think it unreasonable to ask him to help with the cleaning. Our relationships change as we grow older and we either need to make changes to or be left behind. It isn't fair of him to have the same expectations of you that he had when you first got together. I had the same problem with my husband and it finally came down to if he didn't help he could hit the door. I was at that point were I just couldn't take it anymore. It made him wake up and while I may still have to ask and remind him to do things I am finally getting the help around the house that I needed and with me being happier it makes the house happier.
    jen699

    Answer by jen699 at 9:40 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • i don't think so. mine helps in fact he is setting the table for dinner which he made while i'm on here. i'm so lucky and blessed. maybe i will give him sex as a reward.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:56 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • no its not. I'm not saying he should be a slob but IMO it is very lazy of you to expect him to work all (well depending on his job) day then come home and clean.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 10:03 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • yup they help make the mess that can help clean it up my hubby is the only one work do to i cant medical issues and he still healps me clean and i dont even have to ask start with little things and then work up to the big stuff it might help
    amommyslife03

    Answer by amommyslife03 at 10:08 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • If you are a SAHM, I would say you can ask for Help. But expecting it, No. I EXPECT my husband to help with the boys. But he works. And very hard!! So I do not expect him to help me clean.
    eluc

    Answer by eluc at 10:33 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I thinks its fair to ask because its his home too
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 11:30 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

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