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am i a bad mom for not throwing a huge party for my childrens b-day and inviting the whole class. i do make my boys feel special on thier b-days. is this selfish or do i follow what the other moms r doing?

both of my boys b-days r right after x-mas and we live about an hour away from these places, so it can take up a whole day depending on what time the party is. i don't mind going to these occasionally but it seems that when 1 child has a party at the bowling alley u will end up invited to 10 more and before u know it we r spending the weekend going to parties. i know that i have the choice to not go but sometimes it is taken personally if u go to 1 childs and not another.

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Asked by hollieshobbie at 10:35 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (275 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • No you are not a bad mom. I feel birthday parties should be for the childrens best friends only. There are times when parents can not afford to throw a large party. I used to have a sleep over for 2 or more of my boys friends (I have 4 sons). this worked well for us.

    Answer by gemini6254 at 10:38 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • o boy i posted another question about if i should let my son go to his classmates' birthday parties and everyone told me he would be the outcast of the school and traumatized if i didn't let him go. i really don't feel like going to 20 birthday parties and having to think of somewhere to have a party for all those kids. that's just crazy to me lol

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:39 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I am not planning to invite the entire class to my daughters party coming up!! She is already going to have 10 friends (well family) around her age there..... Parties get expensive..... Do what it is right for your family... Don't judge based on what "everyone else is doing".

    Answer by AdoptingMyChild at 10:39 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • No, you are not a bad Mom. You make their birthday's special and make it a family event that doesn;t require going into debt. Do your children desperately need the 20-30 extra gifts from those kids? Trust me, I LOVE that my son doesn't get invited to parties every couple weeks like he did when in was little. I can't afford it

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 10:39 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Don't feel bad! We do every other year with friends over for their birthdays.. It can be exhausting trying to keep a bunch of brats, oh I mean little boys happy,lol....

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:39 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I totally understand. I have 3 children and they are all constantly coming home from either daycare or school with party invitations. It is not reasonable to be expected to attend every single event no matter how much you may want to be supportive of that child and celebrate with them. We actually don't make it to very many events simply due to too many things going on in our personal lives and other commitments. I am happy to pick up a small gift or at least a card and put a few dollars in it for the child. I just give my regrets to the child or parent and wish them well. I refuse to feel guilty if I can't afford to fork out the big bucks like other parents may that make good money and possibly only have the 1 child to spoil. I do the best I can by my children and move on. If the other parents choose to look down on you because you don't throw the same types of parties, you don't want to be their friend anyway. Best of luck!

    Answer by JuJuBug100207 at 10:43 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • In same boat as you. I gave my oldest a 2nd birthday party and I hated every minute. Said I'll never do it again. She just turned 11 and hasn't had a party since. Neither has my other 3 kids. So don't feel bad.

    Answer by keisha613 at 1:06 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I didnt have a birthday party for my daughter with her friends until she was 10. Call me selfish, but we lived in a really small house and having a party somewhere else costs a fortune!! It was always only close friends and family.

    Answer by jdlane1901 at 1:11 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • We don't throw parties for our kids' birthdays. We just take them out to eat and they get a few gifts and cake. And the best chores. They've never complained. At the most we might invite a friend over to share in the cake but it's not a party.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:18 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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