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Getting the second baby to sleep when toddler does

I am a walking zoombie. Husband just went back to work so I am doing days and nights pretty much alone. I can't sleep when baby does b/c I have my toddler. She isn't sleeping when he does at nap time. I am nursing too so she eats a lot. What should I do? I can't keep this up forever. I am so tired that I don't have the energy to go anywhere or do anything fun for my son. I don't even feel like a human being lol. Can't shower relax etc. Advice needed! Maybe a peptalk! :)

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • I suggest cosleeping. A sidecar arrangement can help a lot. You can also influence (not force) baby to sleep when toddler sleeps during the day if you learn how to nurse lying down and take a nap yourself while your TODDLER naps. You may find that your baby will begin to follow the normal rhythm of things. Your husband is going to need to step up at night and help you with your toddler especially. If you need a shower and the baby isn't content with dad, shower with the baby while dad takes the toddler. He may want to rest when he gets home, but he'll just need to suck it up. If baby is full and happy enough to be with him when he happens to walk in the door so be it!

    Let all but the most essential chores go. The dust bunnies won't be going anywhere :)

    Answer by amileegirl at 11:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • One more tip that is unconventional. I cloth diaper and do elimination communication. I found that it was far easier to co-sleep with a naked new born/non mobile infant on a wee pad on a pre-fold (folded burp cloths or towels would work too). babies usually aren't night poopers, so its just pee. Far easier to pull out a wet pre-fold from under the baby and replace it than to fiddle with a regular diaper change as it does not require one to fully wake up and does not fully awaken baby. It's something to consider. It may seem strange, but isn't it stranger to continue to do the more complicated diaper duty!?

    Answer by amileegirl at 11:26 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I wish I had a really smart answer for you but I don't. I went through the same thing when mine were small and I babysat my nephew who is the exact same age as my oldest! I can remember thinking that I was never going to sleep again! I know it's tough but it seems worse because you are tired and it really won't last forever, it just seems that way right now. Try to catch a power nap or 2 if possible. Even if you just can close your eyes and try to clear your head of the negatives! Truthfully, if it's better for you to let the baby sleep with you for a while, do it! Before you know it you'll be missing these days because now I am sleep deprived because I worry about them being out and don't go to bed until they are home safe and sound!

    Answer by jessa1091 at 12:14 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I know how you feel. My daughter was 22 months when we brought our son home. That was only 5 months ago, and I felt exactly like you for the first 5 weeks. I eventually got the hang of it and now it's not all that hard.

    Amilee put it well. Not sure about EC, but I co-sleep and laying down to nurse while my daughter naps is a life-saver for me, even if I don't actually sleep.

    Best of luck. Hang in there- it will get better.

    Answer by kynziesmom at 3:31 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • My son is 22 months and my daughter is 2 months. From the very beginning, I worked to get her nap time on schedule with his. He goes down for his nap at 1, I would always feed her as soon as he went down and then put her down to nap. He sleep until at least 3, she sleeps until 4 most days. So she ends up going to sleep around 1:30-1:45, which gives me at least an hour every day.
    I don't cosleep at night. From what I've read, babies that cosleep wake more often at night. My 2 month old goes to bed at 8:30 (my son goes to bed at 7:30), I wake her to nurse right before I go to bed at 10, then she wakes up around 7 to breastfeed and start the day.
    It takes some work, but things do eventually settle into a pattern. Try moving their schedules by 15 minutes every day or two until they are napping at the same time.

    Answer by missanc at 11:53 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Well I have that same problem, my yongest is 5 months and oldest 2 years, so she don take naps, and my baby does, so when my baby is taken a nap, I do things for myself, like taking a shower, check my emails, and my toddler is watching a movie or tv or just playing with her toys.
    You need to ask a friend that help you with your son, that can take him to the park so you cant take a nap or do other things for yourself

    Answer by Culikgada at 2:40 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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