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3 Bumps

I know this is petty, but how many of you would do the same thing???

My daughter is 7 and things are always a competition between her and her two 'aunts" who are 6 & 9 (adopted). But its not so much a competition between the kids as it is that whenever I buy her something, their mom (my MIL) has to go out and buy them something equally or more nice. Then if I mention something I plan to buy she will sometimes ask me not to, because she doesn't want to have to run out and buy these things for her girls. Well, her kids have a DS Lite and for my daughters birthday we were going to get her one; my MIL told me to make sure it wasn't nicer than the ones her kids have. Me and my husband decided now, we are going to get her a DSI or DSI XL (which really are better and not that much more than the DS Lite). Do you think I should honor my MIL's request on what I do or do not buy for my own daughter? Or do you agree with us, that it is our child and now on principle alone we are going to buy the DSI or XL?


Asked by AdoptingMyChild at 11:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2010 in Parenting Debate

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This question is closed.
Answers (37)
  • I think you should get her whatever you want...and in all honesty, I would make sure I got her the better one. LOL. I do think that this little "competition" is ridiculous though. Children these days are already being raised with the assumption that they deserve the best of the best and don't care what they have to do to get it. Material things are not important and should not be the center of attention or focus.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:18 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • I'd buy your daughter the one she wants, and I wouldn't tell your mother in law what you plan on buying for her anymore!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:14 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • personally i would tell your mil that she should worry about more important things than keeping up with the jones'. i would buy whatever i wanted and could care less what she did

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 11:14 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • It is your child and you can buy her whatever you want, whenever you want.

    Personally, I would stop feeding MIL info about what you plan to buy or have bought.

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 11:14 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • lol
    this is kinda funny, but I say get the better one

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 11:15 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Buy your kid what you want to buy your kid and DISREGARD what she buys her kids. I would say, if you get the better one in reaction to her, you're doing exactly what you don't like her to do.

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Lol. As petty as it is, I'd do exactly what you plan to do. She's being childish in this "competition" she has going, but if she wanted to play...I'd play back, just that one time. Then, I'd stop telling her what you're going to buy, and I'd buy my child what I wanted to, regardless of what she thought about it.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:57 PM on Sep. 14, 2010

  • Honestly, I would tell the MIL to grow up that it was not a competition. And politely ask her to explain to me exactly how it was unfair to her daughters if I bought something for my daughter. Ask her if she puts the same restrictions on what her daughters friends can have.
    Sorry she is being like that, but I would in no way let what she told me to buy effect what I bought!

    Answer by mommy11260 at 10:09 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • You need to nip this in the bud NOW. Life is not fair... everyone doesn't always get the same things at the same time. The younger the kids learn this, the better.

    Sometimes one will get new things or something special and that doesn't me that everyone does. When it is a birthday or special occasion (graduation) then not everyone get something. Sorry MIL is old enough to know better. You need to make sure you are not playing into this too. If you stop participating, then hopefully it will get old for her. Weird to me that she would tell you "not to get the nicer one bc her kids". If her kids are jealous, then she needs to address that with them... there is no reason to buy something that is less of a value just to appease her. Your husband should be the one to deal with MIL by the way.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:38 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Sounds like ur MIL doesn't know how to say NO to her kids. Buy the things u want for your children based on what you and your kids want not ur MIL's misguided need to match what u chose for your children and spoil her children or avoid listening to them whine about what they don't have... yet. Draw some boundries and make her deal with the conciquences, part of being a parent. She's the one with an inadiquacy problem if she feels she needs to buy the same or better of everything you choose and it's just plain wrong to ask you to buy something less nice just to make her kids not feel bad when they are obviously spoiled.

    Answer by DestinyKittyKat at 3:58 PM on Sep. 15, 2010