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2 Bumps

How young is too young??? adult content

OK, so I told a fellow-Mom about wishing I could afford to put my child in private school b/c based on my own experiences, I have found that public school kids are exposed to things like sex, drugs, and alcohol @ a way younger age than private school kids.

Her debate was that I should not shelter my kids &they should be exposed to things like this to learn how do deal w/them.

I agree they should not be sheltered, but, at the age of 7yrs, I think it's way too young to introduce my son IN DETAIL to the idea of sex/drugs/alcohol. When he gets a bit older, but, not too old, I will sit him down &discuss it all w/him.

I went to a public school @the age of 11 &they were already talking about explicit sexual things using words like wet pussies, hard dicks, and fucking.

So my ? is how young is too young to talk about things like this? I don't wanna shelter him too much but, I don't wanna expose him too early.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • I'm not sure about what age is good to talk to them, but I just wanted to add...those things can much be discussed in private schools. My husband went to private school, and the same stuff went on.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:19 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Well, I think it's okay to shelter your kids while they're young. Elementary school is kind of early for that stuff. They're not mature enough for that kind of information. I will say however that if that's the reason you would put them in private school, you might be disappointed. A good friend of mine put her kids in a private Christian school for that very reason, and ended up having even more trouble than we were having with the public school. Unfortunately, some of that is everywhere.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:20 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • If he has questions, answer them the best you can without giving too much detail. He'll let you know when he's ready to learn about it. I was in public school from kindergarten until I graduated high school, and yes, I did hear things about sex and drugs, but until I was in about 7th grade, I didn't really know what everyone was talking about.
    And honestly, unless you don't have cable, the internet, and he has no friends at all, he's going to hear about things earlier than you would like. My niece goes to private school and those kids are some of the most screwed up kids I've ever met...
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 12:21 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • A parent's job is to do what they think is best for their child. We are meant to protect our children from the bad things in the world, but the truth is that as much as we want to shelter them from things beyond their scope of understanding, we can't always be there to do that. Even kids at private schools can and will talk about these kinds of things. Granted it might be more easily controlled because smaller student to teacher ratios, but it is still a possibility.

    I completely understand where you are coming from because our son goes to public school. He's a third grader and even in kindergarten there was an issue where a boy at school heard his older brother talking about "sex with his girlfriend" and the little boy decided to share it with the rest of the boys on the playground.
    zava_t

    Answer by zava_t at 12:22 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I personally think it is rediculous to put our children in audlt situations and expect them to make adult choices. They are children! Let be children. If she feels you are sheltering your children oh well. You know what is best for your kids, and you are allowing them to grow up and enjoy their childhood along the way. However, Private Schools can be just as bad. I know around here they are. Kids are passing out drugs in 2nd grade and getting caught giving oralsex in middle school. I homeschool, and I am told all the time that I need to stop "sheltering" my kids. I let it roll off. They are not sheltered. They will learn about all of that, when they are ready. Not when they are still children.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 12:25 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I too went to a private school then transferred to a public school. It was only when I was in public school that I learned about sex. And I transferred at a young age too (10yrs old). I'm sure sex is brought up in private schools too, but, for me, not as early and as young of an age.

    I think you should always be open and honest with your children. And if you do discuss difficult subjects at an early age, keep it simple and nondetailed.
    joannakitler

    Answer by joannakitler at 12:25 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • (Thats ridiculous. Not Re-) It's been a long day.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 12:26 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Wow, ok. please ignore the spelling in that,lol. Like I said...it has been a long day.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 12:28 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I'd say until they are in fifth grade. Girls start getting there periods earlier than they use to. But from experience, I will tell you this. My mother never mentioned anything about girls getting their periods. I'll never forget that day, I thought I was dying. Nobody told me anything and I promised myself that I would never do that to my daughter. But, by the time they get to middle school things will definitely come out whether you want it to or not.

    7 yrs old is too young. He still needs to be around kids his age and have friends. You can't keep him away from everything. He is going to get older, before you know it, he's will be a teenager. As parents, we want to protect our children. But it all comes down to the fact that most of this comes from the people he is around, at school or anywhere else. All you can do is hope that he will become a responsible teenager.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:28 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • My DS is 11 and as far as I know he has never heard any of those terms and yes he's in a private school. I want to let him be a kid for as long as possible. I truely believe children are growing up way too fast these days and this is not a good thing. As far aa what he knows about sex, we have touched on the basics and he asks questions when he feels he needs more info, I'm taking it at his pace and it seems to be working well for us. With drugs/ alcohol we have taked about this a little more to the effect of what they are, what they do to people and how this is just not a good thing.
    Just talk to your son and see what he has heard or what he has questions about, then be open with him, give him the proper info and tell him how you feel about the negative things his friends could be trying to tell him. Tell him it's OK to just walk away from that kind of talk or to use you as an excuse, "My mom won't let me...."
    dmbutler

    Answer by dmbutler at 12:30 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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