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Hey, married women, what do you think about "the female friend"?

My husband has what he calls female friends from college, etc. Most of whom are single and I really do not like that. He also is part of social networking sites to "catch up to old friends, etc". We even got into an argument because he didn't even tell me initially that he joined these site until I probed and got it out of him. I do not believe he is cheating, really. But am I sounding like a control freak or something just because I do not want him to have females as friends, especially the single ones?

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Asked by kkf at 9:13 AM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (51)
  • Well- Its a yes an no answer from me. My husband has facebook and talks to someof his female friends. I dont mind because its open and I know his passwords and he usually is really honest about it. However he would not spend tiem alone with another female. Single or not. And when we got married- it was kind of understood that your friendshps with the opposite sex fade out because its not realy appropriate. One on one? I have a few friends that my husband knows personally that are male and he would not care. If I knew the girl really well myself I may not care. It realy all depends!

    Answer by Sandiii at 9:28 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • His secrecy would piss me off to no end though! Forgot to add that!

    Answer by Sandiii at 9:29 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I think it depends on what your motives are. I have found that if it doesn't sit right with you, aside from jealousy, there's usually a valid reason. I don't have guy friends like that out of respect for my husband, not that I get out much to make them anyway, but still. If it truly bothers you, I would find out the REAL reason why it does and talk to him about it. His response might help to clear the situation up and he may realize that it's not cool.

    Answer by Jessy0419 at 9:30 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My fiance has a couple of female friends. One that he has known for about 4-5 years (and she is married to his best friend) . The other is a girl that he went to high school with (and she is also in a relationship). I don't feel threatened by these girls at all, and am actually pretty good friends with the first one. However, whenever they text him to say hi or anything, he always lets me see the messages, just so I will know that nothings up. And, out of respect for me, he wouldn't EVER spend any time alone with them. Now, if he was still friends with one of his ex's? That would probably pose a problem for me.

    Answer by Dark_Princess_2 at 9:33 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I have found that married people usually don't "hang out" w/ single people. Somewhere down the line there is trouble that is sure to come.. What if the shoe were on the other foot?? What if single guys that you went to school w/ were texting you? Leaving you messages?? To me, its just not cool..

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 9:47 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My husband is in the national guard so, he has lots of female friends. But, they know me and our kids are around the same age. SO, it doesn't bother me. It is like a giant play date.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:53 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I don't mind female friends. I completely trust my husband. He also works with about 85% women since he is a teacher. He has both facebook and myspace but we both know each others passwords and have free reign over them. If a new girl shows up on his friends list I ask him and 9 out of 10 times its a girl he went to high school with. No big deal. But if you are worried at all maybe you should have a talk with him, openly and honestly.

    Answer by Sonylena at 9:54 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • It depends. My fiance (I consider us married, tho) has a best friend who is female. They even dated for a month before we met and decided they were really just friends. I love her! I trust him completely and am not the least bit jealous of her. He has never lied to me about her, though. If he were being secretive or seeing or texting her behind my back, I'd be livid! She is single, but looking for a man to make her happy. If I knew a guy that was worthy of her, I'd hook them up in a hearbeat!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • As long as he was open with me about it and wasn't trying to be all sneaky and hiding stuff I would be fine with it. But as soon as he started not telling me things (I call that lying by omission) then I would be suspicious.

    Answer by CarieP at 9:57 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • It's all good til the single female friend crosses the line. My hubby has myspace and a girl that he went to school with messaged him her home address, where she worked, when she worked, her phone numbers and then sent him a message telling him to check out her pictures right after she had posted some bra and undie pics.

    Answer by lilmomma92706 at 10:07 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

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