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3 Bumps

Does your dh do this?

I feel so stupid bringing this up but last night my dh and I got into an argument and to top it off he wasn't getting any either so the argument led to that. If he would talk to me like a human being we probably wouldn't have start the yelling but damn I hate when he yells it does not help anything he is always bitching about stuff not getting done but when he is at home off from work he wants me to put a hold on stuff and do stuff with him. I hate that he makes me feel that the house needs to be spotless since I am home allday but I feel like I do the same thing over and over and it never gets done he makes me feels like I am suppose to clean something right when it happens. I just want him to shut the he'll up and go with it he knew I was no good housekeeper or a cook but hey I have co e along way. I am no SUPERWOMAN I can only do what I can n I tell him this n we argue about it again it is gettin old. No plans on leaving.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • it's an age old problem when you are a young family. Take a deep breath and realize that it will get easier. Your children won't be small forever. They will go off to school and you will have time to clean things up, and they will stay that way. Do the best you can, and if that's not enough for your Hubby, give him some chores to do as well. You already have a fulltime job, it's just that you're home so he expects you to be able to handle it all. Make it clear to him that you can't do it all.. Communication is the key, sit down and talk to him, no yelling for him or you. I hope it all works out.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:41 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Thank God my husb doesnt dare act that way to me. If your husb doesnt like it he can do it himself or hire an asst to help you! Last I checked we arent in the 1950's anymore!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:22 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • it sounds as though your husband has a little - no - allot of growing up to do - if he doesn't like the way you are doing things, maybe he should pitch in and helo you - he also sounds as though he lacks respect for you - i think is is a far more serious issue that the two of you need to confront - you should both be pulling half of the load - maybe you need to sit down and talk about who does what - and your life could be allot happier ..
    kaysimon132461

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 8:39 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I was you I would tell your dh that he need to stop yelling and you need help ...
    china682

    Answer by china682 at 8:42 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Tell him if he don't like it then he should do it himself. Don't be a superwomen be who you are. You are who you are and he will not change that don't change you he has issues, there not your issues.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 8:26 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I remind my husband that we BOTH live in the house, so we BOTH are responsible for cleaning. If yours does not like how you do something or does not think it is clean enough give him a cleaning rag and say "here you go, since you don't think it is clean/done right then YOU do it!" (I have done that to my hubs and it did shut him up! Guess he then felt that my was was good enough afterall cause he did not want to do it!). As for things not getting done, tell him "well honey if things did not get done it is because you wanted me to spend time with you. So in the future do you A- want to help me so it gets done faster and we can have time together, B- want me to skip the cleaning and be with you or C- not spend time with you but get the things done?"
    I hope he will realize that you are doing the best you can, and that you are not superwoman. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:58 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Nope, My husband does not treat me like that. I am a SAHM, I get stuff done, but if for whatever reason I do not get it done, my husband is fine with it. My husband would never treat me that way and I would not allow him to treat me that way either. I am not a doormat never have been never will be.
    mommas3cubs

    Answer by mommas3cubs at 8:57 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Wow stuff like that makes me wanna give my DH a huge kiss. He's always helping around the house, it not just my job, we all live here, so we all clean up our messes. He also does his share of cooking. I guess I'm lucky. We don't have traditional gender roles here. Equal partners.

    So in other words if something isn't done around the house, he's just as much to blame as I am, so I better not ever here about it :)
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:34 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I think every single girlfriend i have who is a SAHM at some point gets bitched at by their husband about housekeeping. Same old argument. The man works all day, so he shouldn't have to care for the kids or clean when he gets home. But, since the woman is home all day "not working" (like being a mom is not a hard, back breaking job) she should do all the housework AND care for the kids. It drives me nuts! My DH is a neat freak & if i don't clean, he will clean when he comes home from work. He will not bitch about it at all. BUT, i feel really guilty sometimes that I've been home all day & then he comes home from work & cleans. So, out of guilt (lol) i try my best to keep the house clean because i would feel like a bad wife if my DH paid all the bills AND kept the house clean. DD is 9, she cleans up after herself now, thank god. Cleaning can be very monotonous. But it feels so good after it's done!

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:28 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • My ex husband used to pull this crap and it annoyed the ever-lovin' out of me! Especially when I'd JUST get the house all beautifully clean and then he'd come along, make himself a baloney sandwich (no wonder he was so full of it) and then he'd toss the baloney rind and the cheese wrapper in the GENERAL DIRECTION of the trash can, but if it didn't make it in on the first try, he wouldn't bother picking it up and putting them in the trash! OMFG!!! Oh, and he did the same thing with diapers. >.< And then they WONDER why we get sick of cleaning house after them! Lovely how they never bother to consider that maybe we just get fed up with exercises in futility. -_-
    PaganMommy04

    Answer by PaganMommy04 at 10:13 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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