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Why do I worry so much about my 17 yr old daugther and her relationship with her boyfriend??

My daughter's bf of 2 yrs. is getting comments on his myspace from an old girlfriend. I just thought they were just friends, but now he is deleting her comments. Last night she left him one, "hey..call me" and then this morning its been deleted. I dont' know if my dd saw the comment or not. I just don't know what to do or think. I hope he isn't seeing her on the side. Last week she left him one too, and that got deleted. I just want to step back from it all, but I care about what happens.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • I would step back. If you start telling your DD bad things about her boyfriend it could back fire on you. Make sure she knows that you are there for her and that she can always come to you with anything.

    If he really is cheating on her she will figure it out. You have to trust that you have taught her well and that she can make her own decisions. If she does get hurt be there for her so she can pick her self back up. Remind her that life is to short and she is better then that.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:03 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • It isn't your business Mom..step away from the drama and be there if she needs you. You are mistrusting this kid before you even know anything has happened.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I would suggest you step back and ask why you are monitoring your daughter's boyfriend's myspace page.

    I know what kind of commentary I'd get from my 19yo dd and her bf of 2 years if I made any indication that I was creeping him online...
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:46 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • First of all, I am his friend on myspace, along with my daughter's friend. Its not unusual for me to send him messages or comments from time to time. Its not like I am stalking him, for goodness sakes. My daughter is only 17 and he is 18. I am just looking out for her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • This is a tough one. How do you really know what is and what isn't your business when it comes to your child? I think that saying something to either of them is only going to cause you heartache from one or the other or most likely both.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • As tough as it will be to do, you probably need to just sit and wait. Do you have a really close mother/daughter "friendship" type bond with your daughter? If so, you may be able to get away with mentioning it, but it's still risky. I know that my mom would have said something like "so, I was leaving blabla a comment yesterday and I saw where so and so left a comment on his MySpace... What's that all about? Are you okay with them being friends?" and it wouldn't have been a big deal. If I already knew about it, I would have explained. If I didn't know, my boyfriend would have some explaining to do!

    Even if you don't tell her, she'll find out eventually. Either someone else will see the comments and tell her, or she'll find out for herself by catching him. Or, who knows--- it may be nothing. I hope that the situation works out for the best for all involved! Good luck!
    heather.huckaby

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 8:50 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • maybe he's deleting her comments b/c he doesn't want to call her and he doesn't want the drama, maybe its her and not him?????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • you'd think if he was cheating he would have her send him private messages not public comments... it sounds to me like the ex girlfriend is trying to start drama
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • If he is deleting the comments- he probably doesn't want to hear from her. Good rule of thumb- stay out of their relationship unless you see something harmful/dangerous.
    MysticFerret

    Answer by MysticFerret at 1:57 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • maybe confront the boy friend and ask him whats up? he might just be avoiding her.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:29 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

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