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is it normal for my 16 yr old to be upset at me ?

Well my 16 yr old daugher get mad when my soon to be husband buys me things or treats me like a princess but then he treat all my kids like kings and queens . so i dont understand .

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Asked by momofsix. at 10:19 AM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (10)
  • maybe she's upset that someone is "replacing" her father??

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • how long has it been since her father has been gone? maybe shes upset that youre replacing him? or maybe its jealousy because she doesnt get all attention from you? or maybe shes just being a 16 year old girl? but i remember being mad at my mom for everything when i was like 13 not 16... so idk, why not talk to her?

    Answer by wisteriastars at 10:21 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • It has been a lot of years since I was 16, but I remember vividly being upset. A LOT. I would get mad if my parents went out to eat and I didn't go (even if I was asked). II would be mad if the world didn't evolve around me (and of course it never did lol) I think that your fiance is just a really great target for her teenage anger. She probably doesnt realize the she is just generally confused and angry about things in her life not being the way all teens, or maybe adults, would like to imagine they are. The world should evolve around them. Mom and dad should always stay married. A new car and clothes handed out the minute you hit 16. It may not help, but I think she would be thorougly mad at something else if it wasn't him or you she was mad at.

    Answer by alwaysathomemom at 11:04 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My mom was the same way with my grandmother. She was sooo jealous of my grandma and her new boyfriend. I think she's pissed off and jealous because SHE'S the teenager and she thinks she should be getting the presents from men (boys). Tell her to get over it and be happy for you. Don't let her steal your joy. Pop her in the mouth the next time she gets pissy.

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 6:43 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Fear of having your attention spread over one more person and her getting left out. Discomfort with the purchasing power. Mistrustful of the gifts which may feel like bribery.

    How do *you* feel about being treated like something you aren't? Do you think the gifts come with strings or pure generosity? Are you being lured by bait? Your daughter may be telegraphing your anxiety, without the ability to hide it or deal with it alone...

    I'd say talk to her in a really neutral way, like 'I see that you're sometimes upset about the gifts... can you tell me about that?' and then sit still with your mouth shut until the answers are clear. Don't defend him or yourself, don't argue... you won't know what her perspective or thinking is, if you stop her from telling you.

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:59 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Be sure to give her attention and hug and kiss her. She needs you. My son still some times still wishes he was in a real family not our blended family. :( We though are showing him much support and love. remember they didn't ask for this....My son often thought its not going to work. But we are in it for the long run. :)

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 11:49 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • She's 16, she's gonna be mad at you no matter what... but maybe she's mad that your "replacing" her dad. My mom got a BF and he moved in w/ us, I tried everything in my power to make her get rid of him but she wouldn't. I was just mad b/c I thought (and still think) that he was just replacing my dad. Your soon to be husband needs to talk to her and tell her that he doesn't want to replace her dad, but that he loves you (mom) and that hes not going to leave just b/c she doesn't like him. Maybe it'll help.

    Answer by MAyers at 11:32 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • i hated my mom at that age....i am now 24 with 2 little ones. i have major payback coming!!! maybe try talking to her and keep the commun. lines always fair and open.

    Answer by biggirlsdontcry at 2:40 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Alwaysathomemom sentiments exactly. Teenagers @ this age tend to be angy, manipulative, bitter & all of the above. Whether it is due to jealousy or whatever they will always find something to be angry about. Mostly they have this ideology of a sense of entitlement. They just don't get it how they are suppose to just work for waht they want. You do need to have a heart-heart with her & remind her that u love her. Weather the storm my dear and in the mean time if you could keep your life somewhat private she doesn't need to know how great a guy he is in the long run all she needs to understand is that he is a great husband & treats everyone with respect & is very generous. BEE HAPPY & Good for you that u found someone who not only makes u happy but is a good man & is so wonderful with your children! May you indeed have a wonderful life & May you live happily ever after!

    Answer by Bellafleurs at 4:47 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • 1 word: jealousy!

    Answer by triplethetruble at 12:10 AM on Oct. 19, 2008

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