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3 Bumps

Needing advice... adult content

My child's father called me Sunday to tell me he was moving in with his girlfriend that he's been dating for a month or two...
Let me give you some history..
We were together for 3 years, during that time he was very abusive(choking me, grabbing me, and slamming me into walls), he was also very suicidal(loading a shot gun, threatening to blow his head off, wrapping cords around his neck), he also had a very bad alcohol addiction, and a drug problem, the drug problem was less when we were together but he was still smoking pot. He also cheated on me three different times, once was with a 15 yr old girl that I walk in on, he said they didn't have sex, but there was obviously something going on, both of their pants were down, he said he was drunk and he thought it was me. Also, when I was 5 months pregnant, he went to jail for hitting a female bartender, and threatening to hit me(he held me down on the ground and was threatening

 
BradensMom1026

Asked by BradensMom1026 at 9:48 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,603 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Your priority is your sons welfare. I would suggest supervised visitation. If the girlfriend knows the facts it's on her head be it! Don't get involved.
    abiwill

    Answer by abiwill at 10:02 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • what kind of advice do you need? its good he is not around to harm you anymore.

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:51 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • So what do u need advice on?
    jamiethornton26

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 9:52 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Go to court, tell ur side of what happen, maybe he will only get superivsed visits
    jamiethornton26

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 9:55 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I'm glad that you got out of the situation and that you have found someone who treats you right. However, his girlfriend has to make the choice for herself. If she is aware of his behavior then she's making the choice to go into that willingly. She may not want to hear what you have to say. Probably thinking you're just trying to cause trouble. However, if you can you should inform her of the way he was with you. I don't believe in letting someone walk into a situation that you very well know is a bad one.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:59 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • You need to have as little contact with them as possible. If you aren't talking about your son, you don't need to be talking to either one of them. Why are you allowing him to still abuse you? He yelled at you? Call the cops and file harassment charges on him. Get a restraining order. Stop letting him treat you like shit.
    I'd request supervised visitation. Tell the courts he's a drug addict and an alcoholic and you fear for your child's well being while with his father.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 10:49 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • continued...
    My son was less than a year old when I caught him with the 15 yr old girl, and that was the final straw... I moved 90 miles away to live with my parents...
    There were charges filed by the 15 yr old girls mother, but they were dropped a day or two later (she worked for my ex's parents and feared she'd lose her job)
    I have been dating a fantastic guy now for 9-10 months, he is everything a man should be! and he treats my son like he is his own..we are planning on moving in with him in a couple of months, my son's father is aware of this..
    my ex has gone to couseling, AODA, and other things, but he still acts the same way to me as he always has...
    I have legal custody and primary placement of our son, but he still sees him every other weekend...
    My concern....his gf has a 12 yr old daughter.....I don't want my son to have to see his father assault another young girl..
    What do I do?
    BradensMom1026

    Comment by BradensMom1026 (original poster) at 9:53 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I wouldn't get yourself involved. I feel sorry for the girlfriend. Does she have any idea what he's like? Though I doubt very much whether your input would be appreciated. Does your child see his dad often?
    abiwill

    Answer by abiwill at 9:53 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Also, his gf is trying to be friends with me one minute, then lying and telling me they are getting married, and she's having a baby the next...
    She also told my ex that i told her that i wanted him back and that i could have him back if i wanted to, WHICH I NEVER SAID...so i had to deal with him screaming at me on the phone a couple weeks ago..
    I have told her everything that he has done, i have told her that i fear for her daughter's safety....he has drank around her daughter before...
    She also told me that she was in a marriage for 16 years, and she was beat so badly that she had broken bones and had to go to the hospital(why would she even consider being with him if she knew that he was abusive?)
    BradensMom1026

    Comment by BradensMom1026 (original poster) at 9:56 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

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