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How to get my kids to stop having attitudes with me? (I am the good guy here)

My dh says to beat their a@@es but I am not that way he says that is why they run all over me. OK so he handles it his way and I need to know how to handle it my way but HOW???

I ask them to whoa watch your tone or hey why are you yelling at me (yes when I have to speak more than once yes I do raise my voice) but I can't help it sometimes... Help!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • I had to sit down with my son and have a heart to heart. I’m not one to hit and I hate yelling, and the back talk wears on me. I let him know how the way he talks to me hurts my feelings, it truly does. I told him: I try very hard to talk to him with respect; I try hard to keep our communication open. When he talks to me that way it makes me worry our relationship will deteriorate when he leaves for college and that would break my heart. I love him so much and to feel as though I’m losing him is devastating to me. He knows I'm not close to my parents, that I was abused etc, that I have a poor relationship with my parents and it’s hard to live without parents. When he talks to me like this that it scares me, it makes me feel like he doesn't care about my feelings. I told him we have 3 rules in our house, he has lots of freedom that most kids don't get and all I ask for in return is respect.,,,,
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:52 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • You and your Hubby need to be on the same page. I'm not saying you need to do what he say's, I'm saying you need to come to an agreement on what you feel would be best.
    Demand respect, give them chores, gross chores, things they have to do when they can't keep their attitude in check. Take away privileges, and reward good behavior. Stick to your discipline, and don't back down. You're the parent, so take the bull by the horns. If you don't now it's not going to get any easier. GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:23 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I agree in that first you and your husband need to be on the same page.
    But, with my 10 year old son, if he does not speak to me respectfully, first I will not respond. If I do, it is to tell him that he needs to go to his room until he can talk to me the way he wants to be talked to. And he knows, when he gets sent to his room because he is in trouble, it does not mean he goes in there and plays or watches TV. It means he gets to go in there and sit by himself (No TV or Toys).
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 10:27 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • If they wont listen and you wont spank or even pop them in the mouth. I say go the soap rouite. Just get a bar for each of them and anythime they mouth out they must lick it. If you don't want to do that I say ground them. No t.v., computers. phone, or even friends. That's old school, but it might work. Stand your ground and be consistent. gl
    lovemybaby283

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 10:38 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • When you figure out what to do pm me and let me know. I have 3 dtrs and they are a pia.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 10:42 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I know it probably sounds very dramatic to some people, but it worked and my biggest fear is loosing my children so it does hurt me deeply. In one year we've only had one incident. Being honest with him and showing him that I have feelings too I think helped go a long with him.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:54 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

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