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I feel guilty

I never want to spank my child at all ever. So yesterday, I was changing my 15 month olds diaper and it had lots of poop in it and he kept trying to grab it and pull it and throw it while i was changing him and I kept telling him No, So then when I was done changing him and put him down and the diaper was sitting on this table, I was trying to get a bag to put it in, he grabbed it and almost pulled it down and spilled all the poop out and kind of almost as a natural reaction i smacked his hand and yelled No. He cried really hard and i felt so bad, I called my mom to tell her I felt guilty and when I told her she acted like I was the worst mother in the world and made me feel even worse. Am i?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I don't think there was anything wrong with what you did. You can't explain to a 15-month old that his poopy diaper is gross and filled with bacteria and will make him sick if he touches it. You had to react quickly and get the point across to him that he can't touch it. You didn't beat him, you just smacked his hand. It was a perfectly reasonable response to the situation.

    You are NOT a bad mother. In fact, because you're so worried about this minor incident I think it's proof that you're a very GOOD mother.

    Answer by arouthier at 10:47 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Absolutely not....15 months is old enough for a smack on the hand, as long as it's not to hard. And I would not consider that spanking. There are lots of things that he will be getting into with those hands...and many smacking him on the hand is nothing to feel guilty about. Some moms do choose to just lead them to something better to play with or do, and that's fine too. When I'm dealing with a child I babysit, I redirect....when I deal with my own children, I smack their hand.

    Answer by niknik78 at 10:48 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • He is plenty old enough to understand NO and he wasn't minding. A smack on the hand is sometimes crucial to get a point across when something has dangerous potential. Like poop in a diaper.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:52 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • No because you told him no pleanty of times before the smack. He had ample warning.

    Answer by fatcat0908 at 11:05 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I have done this exact same thing. Now, if he hadn't been told no and you grabbed him and yelled at him and spanked him, or if the child was too young to know "No", then I would say that was a bit extreme. But in these circumstances, I think they way you acted was well within reason.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:09 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • No. You are fine. He needs to know not to get messy poop every where. Give yourself a break. You did not hurt him. He will be fine. Your mom may just want to make you feel bad. Don't let it bother you.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:13 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • a smack on the hand is a fine way to get a point across. you feel guilty because he acted like you tried to cut it 15 months is old enough to understand and also old enough to learn how to begin to play you. i think babies are empathic, they feel wat you feel, ann they also react to your facial expression so his reacition may have been because you felt so bad. when my daughter was first walking she fell down the steps..mots of the time wen i was loking at her so because i knew she wasnt hurt..i laughed a little and upon hearing m reaction she jumped up smiled and kept playing. if i had jumped up, screaming etc. she wouldve lost her mind like it was the worst fall ever. so be mindful of ur facial expressions and sont feel guilty about a hand smack. thats a good way to reinforce your stern words

    Answer by Sins8shun at 11:14 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • No you are not a bad mother. I can understand that you feel bad, but safety is key and sometimes you need to pop a hand.

    Answer by cbearsgirl at 3:07 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • If you're telling him no and he's ignoring you, you need to do something. I'm not saying pop him on the hand, but he should be old enough to respond to the word no. In that situation, I might have stopped the diaper change, held his hands together in a brief time out and said "no, no touch diaper" and then attempted to hand him a toy (i.e. a wipe or a bottle of cream or whatever).

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 4:44 PM on Sep. 16, 2010